And Baby Makes Three

As wonderful as having children is, it can cause the level of romance in your marriage to take a nosedive. But all is not lost. We put together some simple relationship tips that will help you and your husband reconnect post-baby.

Couple with newborn

To learn more, we asked Dr. Paulette Sherman, licensed psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart, to share her top relationship tips for bringing back the romance after having a baby.

Implement date night

You may be parents, but you're also still a couple, which is an important thing to remember. To help keep your relationship on track, try your best to have a date night once a week. "Get a babysitter and go out as a couple and have fun," Sherman says. "This will remind you of how it was when you were dating."

Boost intimacy

Once the baby is sleeping through the night (and in his or her own room), make sure to build in private quiet time at the end of the day to focus on each other and on being a couple, Sherman advises. "If you'd had a long day, then do something relaxing together like exchanging massages, taking a shower or bubble bath," she says.

Start a romantic ritual

Sherman says her husband started rubbing lotion on her feet every night when she was pregnant, a ritual he continued after their child was born. Other couples have a glass of wine together, slow dance to a favorite song or watch certain shows as a way to feel closer. "Develop a bonding time or ritual away from your kids," she says.

Get away

Once your child is older (old enough to be comfortably left with a grandparent or other family member), try to take a mini-break together each year as a couple, Sherman suggests. Go away for a romantic weekend alone for Valentine's Day or your anniversary – or even for no reason at all. The time to yourselves will help you recharge and boost the romance.

Don't discount romantic gestures

You may be spending most of your time lavishing attention on your new bundle of joy, but it's still important to show each other some love. "Keep showing your spouse that they are special by surprising them with little romantic gestures like a card, a poem or flowers," Sherman says. This will help keep you connected amid the chaos of having a new baby.

More relationship advice

What to spill -- and what to keep quiet with your guy
Finding intimacy
How to stop fighting about finances


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Comments on "Bring back the romance after having a baby"

Shannon August 14, 2012 | 11:21 AM

I agree with Emma that it's so important to get away together. I have a baby and my husband and I will be taking our second trip without the baby next month, and our baby's only three months old! We like to go away for a night or two and leave our daughter with my mom. My mom loves it and it helps our relationship - a win win!

Emily June 01, 2012 | 7:44 AM

My grandparents have 5 girls. Every evening, they would have a cocktail together kids-free for 30 minutes. They would then tend to the kids, make dinner, help with homework, etc. They have been married (happily) for over 50 years. I strongly believe that it was their own little cocktail hour that made their marriage so strong. Try to find something for just you and your husband. Make it a ritual, and stick to it. Whether it be a nightly drink alone together, a morning walk, or an afternoon phone call, make it a ritual so both of you look forward to it everyday.

Emma May 03, 2012 | 3:05 PM

Some of the best advice I've gotten is for any couple to go away once a year together to truly connect and re-charge for the next year! It is so vital to get out of your routine and spend time just the two of you with no interruptions. I truly admire those couples who do this because I can see how much they value their relationship and each other.

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