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5 Big signs he's not over his ex

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Ex obsession

We know it’s possible for a guy to remain friends with an ex-girlfriend. You may even have some male friends whom you previously dated. There is a big difference, though, between being friends with an ex and not being over your feelings for that person. With that in mind, we’ve put together some serious telltale signs that your current guy isn’t quite over his ex – even if he tells you otherwise.

Man texting while on date

He still helps her out

Dating someone who is still on call as his ex-girlfriend's handy man is not a good sign, especially if she knows he's dating someone new. Sure, your guy might just be super nice and one of those people who can't say no, but don't you think he would be jealous if the situation were reversed? Ask yourself how he would feel if you were constantly at your ex's beck and call – editing documents for him, helping him fix up his resume, giving him decor advice. Whatever the scenario, if you're spending time with an ex, we're willing to bet your man wouldn't approve. That's why, even if he swears he's merely being a gentleman, we say be wary of a guy who runs to help a former girlfriend every time she calls.

They still text and email

Some people still keep in touch with people they've dated. They comment on each other's Facebook photos, toss Tweets back and forth and send the occasional email or text, but if this behavior is constant, you might have a problem on your hands. Keeping in touch is OK, but a barrage of daily messages once a new relationship is in the works just seems suspicious to us. But before you go wild with jealousy, sit down and talk to your guy about how you feel and why he's still so close to his ex. If he won't talk about it or seems cagey with his responses, take note of the fact that your feelings are probably warranted. On the other hand, it could be a good sign if he's open to discussing the issue and suggests you meet his ex to see for yourself there's nothing to worry about. Either way, be careful if your new guy can't go a day without being in touch with his ex.

She comes up in conversation

The more he talks about her, the less likely he is to be over her. If this is the case, he's likely on the rebound and shouldn't be entering into another serious relationship. We all talk about other people we've dated – it's part of our history after all, but hearing about his most recent ex on a regular basis hints strongly that he still has feelings for her and you should watch out so you don't end up falling for someone who isn't ready for a relationship.

She invites him to events

Your new guy should not be the only person his ex can take to a wedding. There are so many other options – other male friends, going solo or even taking a female friend are all better options than roping your man into being her date. The same goes for work events she always used to rely on him for or worse, family functions she seems to think he should still attend even though they're no longer together. Dating someone who is still close enough to his ex that she sees no problem inviting him to various events where she doesn't want to go alone is a very big red flag. Ideally he won't consider going, but if he does, you need to let him know it's not acceptable – or you should consider moving on.

He hates that she has someone new

Any jealousy he shows towards his ex's new guy speaks volumes about how much he still cares about her. Even if he claims to merely be concerned as a friend or "big brother" figure, there's no reason for him to care who his ex is dating now that he's with you. If anything, he should be happy she's moved on – not upset that she's over him. Proceed with caution around any guy who can't or won't be happy if his ex is seeing someone new.

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