Ex Obsession

We know it’s possible for a guy to remain friends with an ex-girlfriend. You may even have some male friends whom you previously dated. There is a big difference, though, between being friends with an ex and not being over your feelings for that person. With that in mind, we’ve put together some serious telltale signs that your current guy isn’t quite over his ex – even if he tells you otherwise.

Man texting while on date

He still helps her out

Dating someone who is still on call as his ex-girlfriend's handy man is not a good sign, especially if she knows he's dating someone new. Sure, your guy might just be super nice and one of those people who can't say no, but don't you think he would be jealous if the situation were reversed? Ask yourself how he would feel if you were constantly at your ex's beck and call – editing documents for him, helping him fix up his resume, giving him decor advice. Whatever the scenario, if you're spending time with an ex, we're willing to bet your man wouldn't approve. That's why, even if he swears he's merely being a gentleman, we say be wary of a guy who runs to help a former girlfriend every time she calls.

They still text and email

Some people still keep in touch with people they've dated. They comment on each other's Facebook photos, toss Tweets back and forth and send the occasional email or text, but if this behavior is constant, you might have a problem on your hands. Keeping in touch is OK, but a barrage of daily messages once a new relationship is in the works just seems suspicious to us. But before you go wild with jealousy, sit down and talk to your guy about how you feel and why he's still so close to his ex. If he won't talk about it or seems cagey with his responses, take note of the fact that your feelings are probably warranted. On the other hand, it could be a good sign if he's open to discussing the issue and suggests you meet his ex to see for yourself there's nothing to worry about. Either way, be careful if your new guy can't go a day without being in touch with his ex.

She comes up in conversation

The more he talks about her, the less likely he is to be over her. If this is the case, he's likely on the rebound and shouldn't be entering into another serious relationship. We all talk about other people we've dated – it's part of our history after all, but hearing about his most recent ex on a regular basis hints strongly that he still has feelings for her and you should watch out so you don't end up falling for someone who isn't ready for a relationship.

She invites him to events

Your new guy should not be the only person his ex can take to a wedding. There are so many other options – other male friends, going solo or even taking a female friend are all better options than roping your man into being her date. The same goes for work events she always used to rely on him for or worse, family functions she seems to think he should still attend even though they're no longer together. Dating someone who is still close enough to his ex that she sees no problem inviting him to various events where she doesn't want to go alone is a very big red flag. Ideally he won't consider going, but if he does, you need to let him know it's not acceptable – or you should consider moving on.

He hates that she has someone new

Any jealousy he shows towards his ex's new guy speaks volumes about how much he still cares about her. Even if he claims to merely be concerned as a friend or "big brother" figure, there's no reason for him to care who his ex is dating now that he's with you. If anything, he should be happy she's moved on – not upset that she's over him. Proceed with caution around any guy who can't or won't be happy if his ex is seeing someone new.

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Tags: exes

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Comments on "5 Big signs he's not over his ex"

JANE DOE February 25, 2014 | 1:33 PM

so okay this isnt quite like the other comments, its more of i think my ex isnt over me. People were saying horrible things behind my back and well he recorded it. made sure i knew. the reason its weird is because we had such a harsh breakup. havent spoken since. is he still into me? What do you think?

juanda September 04, 2013 | 9:35 AM

if the guy still have feelings for his ex and have personal connection then he shouldnt be in a relationship

DM March 26, 2013 | 4:48 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and moved in together after 1 year. Once in a while he calls me by his ex's name. He told me in the beginning that they will always be best friends. He also told me that God blessed her with the best ass in the world. Last year, she contacted him and asked him to fly out to Cali and help her move back home to Canada. He kept the correspondence a secret from me until the last minute. I was very upset but he went anyway. Said that he owed her. He spent three weeks with her packing and traveling across the country while not answering his phone. Then I found three boxes outside my garage one night. He texted me and said they had to drop off some of his old stuff while they were driving by to Canada....I'm in Michigan. Then, they spent the night in a hotel 2 miles from my house. Don't know why I didn't dump him then....I'm stupid. Last weekend I went to my parents house to visit. While I was there he spent the whole weekend trying to contact her for a quick visit and ended up talking to her on the phone from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. I found out because we share a phone plan and I saw the minutes. I also know that she still gives him $$. He gets sooooooo upset with me when I bring anything up. Very angry!

Enough December 17, 2012 | 8:26 AM

Mine said he was still just helping her out. She would text and call, and one day she showed up while he was looking at my car and started shouting "He is my Man!" Whatever, she can have him now. Found out one night he said he was tired from work, I said I was too. I needed something from the store, honestly, and something inside told me to drive by his house. I didn't want to, I wanted to believe him, and guess what? Her car was in his driveway. To tired for me, but not enough for her. Needless to say, I am glad I went with the feeling inside of me to just drive by his house. I felt bad, but my eyes were opened. I didn't make a scene, just told him the next day I was done with the relationship. I feel hurt and betrayed, and this just makes it that much harder to have a relationship with someone. There is just no more trust now days. So sad.

Anthea Debattista October 31, 2012 | 2:30 PM

I think my friend wants to try a relationship with me but keeps mentioning his ex...he said i want to see where i stand with her for the last time before i close the book with her,then I'll have a try with you,what do you think?

Tina August 21, 2012 | 8:47 AM

Hmmm, if they're still talking/texting/emailing, run fast. If he's with you, he shouldn't be in communication at all with his ex, especially if it's regularly. Talking about her isn't necessarily a bad thing, depending on the context. If he's mentioning her everyday, I'd personally be concerned.

pixie13 January 05, 2012 | 6:12 AM

Just finished reading I Hate His Ex by Alex Cooper. Brilliant read for anyone having relationship troubles to do with past relationships :) xxxx

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