Getting Back In
If you're newly entering the dating field following the end of a serious relationship, you're going to need to start slow. You may be tempted to go from zero to full speed (especially if you've been out of action for a while), but no matter how long you've been single post-breakup, starting slow will help prevent dating disaster. The last thing you want when you first start dating again is to feel immediately out of your element. Rather than assuming you should be out every night, on a mad search for someone to replace your ex, avoid putting any pressure on yourself. Instead, think of each date as an experience and an opportunity to get to know someone new – not a high-pressure situation.
Coming out of a long-term relationship can often be so traumatic (even after a significant amount of time has passed) that you just want to find another boyfriend, rather than really get a sense of who else is out there and what type of person is right for you. As we said above, you don't need to be out every night with a different guy, but don't jump right into another relationship either. Give yourself a chance to find out what you really want in a guy this time rather than just shacking up with the first guy that buys you dinner. There are plenty of great guys out there, but you'll never find the one that's best for you post-breakup if your only goal is to get into another serious relationship right out of the gate.
Dating is supposed to be fun. You get to meet new people, try different things, test out your flirting skills and go places you might not go alone like new bars, restaurants or events. So the biggest piece of advice we can give you once you're ready to start dating again is to focus on fun and enjoy the experience. While being part of a couple is great, dating also has its perks. It can be exciting, spontaneous, romantic and sexy – so don't shy away from the opportunity to really enjoy the ride.
Even when you do meet a guy you really like, we suggest keeping things light for as long as possible. He may be gorgeous and funny and caring and the perfect guy to erase all memories of your ex, but before you start spending every waking minute with him, give yourself enough time to ensure you're ready for another relationship. Dating post-breakup is one thing; diving headlong into a relationship is entirely another, so allow yourself time to be sure about your situation before starting something serious.