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What to say when: You’re in a rut

Jonathan Ellis is a freelance writer and web developer living in Texas with his wife and three children. Jonathan writes about everything from technology to fantasy sports.

Get your relationship back on track

Even those relationship-obsessed couples who attend regular therapy sessions and take lavish weekend getaways sometimes find themselves in a rut. Truth is, life can get monotonous from time to time. As much as we'd love to point our finger at the other person, it really isn't anybody's fault. Read on for advice on what to do when you're in a relationship rut.

what to say when your relationship is in a rut

What to say when you're in a rut

Please, please tell us when you feel that the relationship is in a rut. We're not mind-readers. When there's no drama and everything seems to be rolling as it should, men admittedly have an annoying tendency to get fat, dumb and happy. What may feel like a rut to you could be peaceful serenity to us. That said, we'd much rather know now that something is wrong, rather than let the unhappiness brew and come spilling out the next time we leave the toilet seat up. Check out these reasons why you might be in a relationship rut.

What to do when you're in a rut

To counteract the rut, offer solutions and be open to ideas. A little give and take is a great way to break the ice. Don't come to us with an ultimatum; this shouldn't feel like a hostage negotiation. We can discuss it and figure out what is needed to add excitement back into the relationship -- whether it be something simple like a candlelight TV dinner, or something more drastic. Mixing things up by reinventing date night or adding a new sexual position can help you break out of a relationship rut.

What to avoid when you're in a rut

Don't try to fix a rut without letting us know what's up. If you suddenly disrupt our daily routine, you may ignite a fight and end up making things worse -- even if you have the purest of intentions at heart. And ignoring the rut altogether is just as damning as going at it solo. Eventually, there will be consequences in one form or another -- don't let it get to that. Realize that all relationships go through highs and lows. Just because the relationship has become stagnant doesn't mean it has to end.

Watch: Is he listening?

Relationship therapist, Dr. Sheri Meyers shares telltale body-language signs that your partner is NOT listening to you.

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