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How to talk more openly about your relationship

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Talk time tips

One of the most important things you can do to make your relationship work is to talk about it openly and honestly and ensure that dialogue is continuous, but it's not always easy. Being able to share your feelings with your partner about everything both big and small can be tough, but we have some tips to help you out. Read on to find out how to be more upfront in your relationship.

Couple discussing relationship

1Start with the small stuff

If you can't talk about the minor issues (whose turn it is to do the dishes, why the cap is always left off the toothpaste), how will you ever be able to broach the bigger problems? If you're having trouble talking about your relationship with ease, before you launch into something major, start with discussing some of the smaller things and work your way up to being more comfortable talking about anything else that comes up.

How it helps: We've all heard the saying "practice makes perfect" and it's true! The more you do something, the better you'll get at it, so making an effort to speak up about little blips on your relationship radar screen will help you be more open about the bigger issues.

2Talk in neutral territory

If you don't live together, talking at one of your places isn't fair because one of you will have home court advantage. If you do live together, you're too used to the environment to really focus on what's being discussed or give it the attention it deserves. So our advice is to talk about anything that needs discussing in totally neutral territory.

  • Go to a coffee shop or a pub you both feel comfortable at.
  • Go for a walk and talk as you stroll around the neighborhood.
  • Talk at a nearby park just to get out of the house.

3Discuss, don't accuse

When something in your relationship is bothering you, it can be very easy to immediately go on the offensive and start making accusations. This is not the best tactic and will upset your partner. This then equals the beginnings of a full-on blow out -- NOT productive in the least. Before you say anything at all, think about how you're going to say it. How are you going to phrase it? What tone of voice are you going to use? These may not seem like important details but trust us when we tell you they are. If you truly want to make headway and move your relationship forward by being open and honest, than you cannot go into attack mode. Be gentle, be tactful and above all, do not accuse your man of anything. Simply state your case and explain how you feel. Ideally your honesty will inspire him to open up to you in return and you can move things forward together.

4Don't be afraid to speak up

Ultimately, being open and honest with your guy about your relationship means moving past any fear you have about what he might say or think about whatever you're planning on bringing up. We know it's hard, but the best thing you can do is be brave and trust that whatever has become a sore spot in our relationship can (and will) be sorted out after a calm and rational discussion.

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