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4 Tips for bedroom confidence

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Be bolder in bed

It's not as hard as you think to take your sexual confidence up a few notches and heat things up in the bedroom. You might not feel totally comfortable taking charge right away, but with a bit of practice, you'll be leading the way between the sheets in no time. Here are a few simple tips to get you started on your path to ditching sexual shyness.

Love your body

The first and most important step in being bolder in the bedroom is kissing your body hang-ups goodbye. The more concerned you are about how you look in the buff, the harder it's going to be to take charge and really enjoy yourself. Building body confidence takes time, so when you notice yourself thinking negatively about how you look, shut it down.

Here's how: Take a deep breath and immediately replace that slight against your thighs or breasts or whatever body part you hate with something positive. It might actually feel unnatural to be complimenting yourself, but eventually you'll shift your way of thinking. Trust us – the better you feel about your body, the more confident you'll be in bed.

Don't be afraid to initiate

If you really want to feel – and appear – more confident when it comes to sex, it's a good idea to start initiating sex. It's so easy to wait for your guy to make a move (because let's face it, they seem to make those moves a lot), but take yourself out of your comfort zone and be the one to suggest a romp. Do whatever shows your guy you're in the mood – rub his shoulders, say something suggestive or simply walk seductively towards the bedroom. He'll get the hint pretty quickly and be thrilled you were the one who started things off. Plus you'll feel bolder just for being the instigator – it's win-win!

Give direction

If you're fairly quiet in bed you might feel strange giving directions to your guy when it comes to what you want and what feels good, but the more vocal you are about the direction you want things to go, the more confident you'll feel. You don't have to be a bedroom drill sergeant, but do make a point to take more of an active role in what's going on. The more responsibility you take where your sexual satisfaction is concerned, the easier it will get to be bolder in the bedroom – and the better the sex will be.

Be honest

You can't be confident in the bedroom if you're not fully enjoying the experience, which means being honest about what you like – and what you don't like. It's not easy to open up about sexual likes and dislikes, but the more you do it the easier it will get. If you aren't enjoying something, tell your guy how you feel. He might be temporarily deflated that his fancy new move didn't do anything for you, but he'll be glad you were honest with him. Being confident in the bedroom means being honest about the good, the bad and everything in between.

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