Why He
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Before you go laying all your love cards on the table, hold a few back for the first little while so you don't scare him off. Sometimes taking things a little slower (and not expecting your new guy to want to hang out every day) will be enough to give him the breathing room he needs. |
He was scared to get too seriousEven when things are going well, and you and your new guy were really getting along before he unexpectedly said sayonara, he could have been afraid of getting too close. This means that he was falling fast and got freaked out by his own feelings, which in some ways is a consolation (he really did like you), but whatever he was feeling caused him to split, leaving you to wonder what went wrong. If he was too scared to get serious, there was nothing you could have done to change that. It's an issue he'll have to work out on his own – it's just too bad you had to get hurt before he did.
He was on the reboundGuys on the rebound can seem like they're really into you – and they often are, but the problem is they're also trying to get over or forget about someone else while they're with you, making you merely a distraction. Once they're sufficiently distracted, they move on, leaving you in a haze of confusion and frustration. So be wary of guys who are just coming out of intense long-term relationships. They may think they're ready to move on, but often they need more time to adjust to life without their ex than they think they do.
He was never serious to begin withSometimes a fling is just a fling. Yes it sucks if you started to feel like it was more than a several-night stand, but there isn't much you can do if he was never interested in starting something serious. Some guys just want to have a good time, and it's not that they didn't like you or that they didn't enjoy spending time with you – they just unfortunately didn't let their emotions get in the way of their fun and probably didn't actually realize that you were putting more stock into the situation.
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