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The road to great sex

Dr. Noelle Nelson is a relationship expert and an internationally respected psychologist, author and seminar leader. She has given life-changing guidance to couples for more than 20 years.

Check out Noelles relationship and marriage advic...

Closer than you think

You haven't had great sex with your husband or boyfriend in a while. A long while. You've tried wearing perfume, not wearing perfume, dressing sexy, dressing like a schoolgirl, which works once or twice, then zip. Or rather – no zip, as in no zippers being tugged open. You're running out of new ways to spark his interest. Maybe it's time for a different approach. Find out how you can get on this road.

Closer than you think

How would you respond to the following?

You're going somewhere with your man. He's doing the driving.

A. You help with "Turn right," "No! Not here, there." "Slow down." "Sloooooow dooooown."

B. You refrain from commenting on his driving, and instead, simply roll your eyes, brace yourself against the dash or sigh loudly.

Your guy is loading the dishwasher.

A. You help with "No, that doesn't go there," "What are you doing? You NEVER put something with a wooden handle in the dishwasher," "Put it in the top, not the bottom."

B. You refrain from commenting, albeit groaning inwardly, and simply slam drawers shut, purse your lips or (your fav) sigh loudly.

Your man is getting dressed for an important meeting.

A. You help with "You're not going to wear that tie, are you?" "Have you gained weight? Those pants are awfully tight."

B. You refrain from commenting, not believing your eyes, and stare with disgust at the fashion crime being committed before you and, repeatedly, sigh loudly.


If you answered "A" to any or all of the above, it's a wonder you're having sex at all. If you answered "B," quit patting yourself on the back, less sex is right around the corner.

It's no wonder he doesn't want to jump your bones. How is he supposed to find you fun to be with when you're ragging on him all the time?


Listen to yourself! It's not just in the car, the kitchen or when he's dressing – you criticize your mate a lot. Criticize your man less and appreciate him more. Focus on the stuff you love about him and tell him about it.

So his driving sucks? You always get where you're going in one piece. Thank him for driving. It gives you a break. He can't load the dishwasher to your liking? What do you prefer, a perfectly loaded dishwasher or great sex? Thank him for doing the dishes. Period. Good news – great sex is on its way when you start taking time to appreciate your significant other.

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