playing hard to get

Leave him wanting more

Playing hard to get is one of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to dating, but if you need a refresher course in this tried and true technique, we're here to help. Check out our guide to getting the guy you want the same way legions of women have been doing it for years – by playing hard to get. We've put together some ways to make it work for you.

Be the life of the party

NOTE: Once you've charmed everyone with your sparkling personality and it looks as if your man of choice is newly intrigued by your presence, don't let him get too close. Be nice but definitely leave him wanting more so he's sure to call you.

He's not noticing you? Make it so he can't help but notice you by being the life of the party. But stay classy – we certainly don't suggest dancing on tables, wearing a lampshade on your head or getting fall-down drunk. Rather, being the life of any social soiree means mingling, showing off your impressive wit and sense of humor and otherwise looking like you're having a great time. What you want him to notice is your energy and the positive way other people are reacting to you – and most importantly, that he's missing out by not being with you.



"The next time he calls wanting to do something, let him wait for awhile"

One of the easiest and most effective ways to play hard to get is to go missing for a while. Being too accessible isn't always a good thing and can make it seem like you're willing to drop everything to hang out with your new guy. Even if you are willing to be at his beck and call, the important thing is to never show it – at least not at first. If you want to go from being just another girl to the only girl he wants to hang out with, you're going to have to make him wonder. The next time he calls wanting to do something, let him wait for awhile. Let him wonder where you are and why you haven't called back or texted. Don't snub him completely (that would obviously work against you) but not being readily available 24/7 is a great way to make him take notice and realize he might have something worth working a little harder for.


Have things to do

QUICK TIP: Once you've got him hooked with your enviable itinerary, invite him to join you on your next adventure. He'll be hard pressed to pass up the opportunity once he's heard all of your amazing stories.

We don't mean grocery shopping. The more interesting and exciting things you have on the go, the more intriguing you'll be to him – especially if you have to pass up a date with him to do something cool. Whether you can't make a date because you're at the rock climbing gym or you couldn't return his text because you were white water rafting, he'll be impressed. The fuller your life is, the less clingy you'll seem (an instant turn-off for most guys) and the easier it will be to make him want to get to know you better. Plus having your plate full of adventurous or unique activities means you'll have more to talk about when you're with him, making it even harder for him not to want to hang out with you more.


More dating tips & advice

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4 Signs he's definitely not a keeper
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Comments on "How to play hard to get"

June January 10, 2013 | 3:11 PM

I think seeming/being busy is very important. No one wants to date a boring girl who responds to a guy immediately. Keep it classy! But don't lie about what youre doing. If you act like you have an exciting life, you've got to have one!

Jessica October 02, 2012 | 7:25 PM

Having things to do is so important! No one wants to date someone who's always available - don't they have friends or hobbies?!

audrey September 27, 2012 | 11:11 AM

Loved this article! This is a concept that isn't new to most women but it was put classy and not too over the top, which is common.

Hannah September 20, 2012 | 10:46 AM

Great article! I agree that it's always good to play hard to get, but if you're not doing it on purpose it's even better! Don't say you have plans when you really don't...instead, make sure you have plans! Have a life outside the guy you're interested in, and he will totally want to pursue you. And if not? He's not for you anyways :)

Kenia September 06, 2012 | 10:15 AM

Great article! it is very true that a guy wants you more when he can't have you! the advantage is that you can give yourself more time, while he wants you more and more. Taking things slow works most of the time. Also a girl should know who's worth her time and who is just not the right guy to date.

Emma June 19, 2012 | 4:33 PM

It is so important to always stay classy when you are trying to show a guy what a catch you are! That can be hard sometimes when you are nervous and out and the drinks are continuing to come, but everything in moderation! Making yourself not so accessible makes him want you more, and you should be pursued!

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