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5 Days to hotter sex

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Better sex bootcamp

Have you been feeling like things are less than stellar in the sack lately? We're guessing you're not alone. According to the most recent AskMen.com Great Male Survey, 38 percent of respondents agreed that though satisfied with their sex lives, there is room for improvement. Every relationship has highs and lows where sex is concerned and even though sexual slumps may not be ideal, they do happen. If you think your time between the sheets needs a wake-up call, check out our guide to better sex in five days.

Couple having sex

Day one: Just say yes

Long day at work? Still need to respond to countless emails? Couch calling your name? We've all been there, when the last thing on our minds is sex. But that doesn't mean putting on your sweats and fixing your man with a "don't even think about it" look is the only answer.

Day one on our 5-day path to better sex means saying yes when you're tempted to say no. You can lounge on the couch all your want afterwards, but today your homework is to just say yes and see what happens. You might be surprised by the fact that you don't have to feel like ripping your guy's clothes off to enjoy sex. The intimacy involved can be enough to get you in the mood. We're not suggesting you acquiesce every time your man wants to get busy, but sometimes it can be beneficial to both of you if you remain open to the idea of sex, rather than closing yourself off.

Day two: Ditch routine

Today is all about forcing yourself out of the box when it comes to sex. Whether you get frisky on the same day every week, for the same amount of time, in the same position – or all three, this is your chance to break free from routine for a day to see what a big difference doing things differently can make if you're hoping to spice up your sex life.

We've put together some fun and easy ways to put an end to bedroom boredom.

Surprise him with sex. If he's usually the one to initiate bedroom activities, make a point to express interest when he least expects it.

Dress up for the occasion. If sex usually means putting down your book, taking off your glasses and slipping out of your flannel pyjamas, give the proceedings a fresh new feel by wearing something sexy to bed. And we don't mean something sexy for him – rather something that makes you feel sexy.

Try new positions. Even if the tried and true get the job done, it can't hurt to see how sex feels when you change things up. Try new positions to get a better idea of what will make things even better for both of you.

Day three: Embrace the quickie

Slow and sensual is great, but not all of us have time for that. Scratch that – most of us don't have time for that so unless you're on vacation with all the time in the world for sex, you're going to have to compromise.

That being said, the quickie can be a great way to maintain an active, healthy sex life without feeling like you have to devote an entire evening to the act. And contrary to what you might think, they can actually be pretty hot. The key to the quickie is finding a time when both of you are likely to be in the mood. When NOT to try for a quickie: After a big meal, after a stressful day at work. When TO try for a quickie: On a lazy Sunday morning, instead of doing something tedious like grocery shopping, right before you go out for dinner or to a party.

Day four: Add new elements

This can be a tough one if you are at all intimidated by the idea of sex toys, role playing, sex games or opening up about any fantasies you might have. But trust us when we tell you that one of the best and fastest ways to kick your sex life up a few notches is by adding new and unexpected elements. Here are some rules to go by when adding in something new and potentially intimidating.

  • Choose something that works for both of you and that you're both comfortable with.
  • Talk about what would enhance pleasure for both of you before going and buying a sex toy or trying something like role play.
  • Read up on some of the options available when it comes to sexy accessories and sex toys.
  • Relax into the experience and remember that it's supposed to bring more pleasure to both of you and make sex more fun and interesting.

Day five: Celebrate each other

Sex is many things – passionate, intimate, emotional outlet and a way to become closer to your partner. Most importantly though, sex is a means of really celebrating each other and showing appreciation for everything you have together. It may sound contrived or cheesy, but thinking about sex in this way helps take the pressure off. It can be easy to feel stressed about sex – are you adventurous enough, do you have sex often enough, is he happy, are you happy – it's enough to drive a person crazy. So instead of succumbing to that kind of anxiety, treat sex as simply part of your relationship and a great way to continue boosting your bond.

More sex advice

5 Tips for a sexed up relationship
Kick your sexual insecurities to the curb
3 Ways to add edge to your sex life

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