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Is your guy cheating? 11 Ways to tell

Stephany Alexander is one of the worlds most well-known relationship, infidelity and dating experts. She is founder of a free date screening service. Ms. Alexander is the best-selling author of Sex, Lies and the Interne...

Catch a cheater

He's staying out late. You don't seem as close. Something doesn't feel right. He's acting differently. But do these things mean he's cheating? As an author and infidelity expert who has given relationship advice to thousands of women for the past decade, I've put together the top 11 ways to catch a cheater so you can find out whether your guy is cheating or not. A woman's gut instinct is rarely wrong, so listen to yours, put on your detective hat and get to work.

Catch a cheater

6Check up on him

If he says he has to work late or is studying late, show up unexpectedly to bring him a gift, like coffee or a snack, to reward him for working so hard. If you don't live with him, drive by his house to see if he's home when he is supposed to be.

7Set a trap

99.9% of the time, cheating men will cheat when their partner is out of town or when they are traveling. Tell your partner you are leaving for the weekend and then wait and watch. If he doesn't come home all night, he could be at another woman's house or at a hotel. Otherwise, he may bring the other woman to his or "your" home. Remember the old saying...."when the cat's away, the mouse will play?" It's very true.

8Place a made-up profile online

Set your partner up by placing a fake profile online and see if he takes the bait. This can give you an indication of his character and dedication towards you.

9Fake him out

Like in poker, bluff that you have a great hand. Tell him you know what he's up to and that he had better tell you the truth. Ask him if he would be willing to take a lie detector test to give you piece of mind and see how he reacts. Lie detector tests have become affordable and are available in most major cities. Many men will lie to the very end but if you are a good enough actress, you may get the information you are looking for.

10Watch for sudden behavioral changes

He's not paying as much attention to you. He's not interested in sex. He cancels time with you or comes home late often. He suddenly becomes more interested in his own appearance. He becomes defensive when you ask him questions and then tries to make you seem paranoid by blame switching. These could be indications that he's seeing someone else.

10Become your own private investigator

Place a voice-activated digital tape recorder in a discreet place such as under his car seat or bed. Make sure it has a long recording time that can record for many hours. I know many women who have caught their cheating partners this way but had to listen through hours of recording time. Be sure to check your local laws.


      Catch a cheater

      Remember, ladies...

      • Morally wrong or right, spying on your mate can be tricky business, but for most women, finding out the truth is crucial to continuing, or perhaps ending, a relationship.

      • Be careful about telling him how you found out about his cheating because he could use this against you in the future.

      • Never accuse your partner of cheating unless you have concrete proof because many men will lie when accused and then simply cover their tracks better in the future. If your suspicions are confirmed, make sure you have a non-violent plan of action as to what you intend to do. If you don't find anything suspicious after your investigation, don't let your paranoia get the best of you, and let it go.

      The truth shall set you free -- even if it's painful.


      Tell us

      Have you caught a partner cheating? If so, how did you catch them? Share with us in the comments section below.

      More on cheating

      10 Signs he's cheating on you
      Will he cheat? Listen to his voice
      Why men cheat (and how to avoid it)

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