How To
Grow Closer

Ah, new love – one of the greatest feelings in the world. You're giddy, you can't get enough of each other and you're having the best time. Ever. But now what? Holding onto that fabulous feeling takes work and we've got the scoop on everything you need to know about building a great bond with your new guy and creating a strong, lasting relationship.

Couple talking on couch

It will mean sacrifice

That might sound daunting – sacrifice can be a scary word – but this is the first step in building a better bond with your new boy. What do we mean? Well for starters you'll need to ditch some habits that could potentially put a wrench in the good thing you have going. Here are a few to think about:

The need to be right: Relationships mean compromise so if you're the type of person who needs to get the last word (no matter what) it will be pretty hard to get along with your guy in the long term. Instead, you'll have to work on admitting defeat when you're wrong.

Your ideals about love: Love can be amazing but it can also get...messy. Things won't always have that fairy tale quality they do in chick flicks and romance novels, so you might have to give up the idea of perfection in place of knowing that there will be arguments and problems, and that every couple has flaws. Well, maybe not Brad and Angelina...

Your need to be #1: Of course you should be number one in his eyes (obviously) but you can't expect him to always be at your beck and call. It's OK (and healthy) for him to have other friends and want to spend some time with them. So if you feel like you should be his only interest, you may need to rethink that idea and allow for him to have a bit more breathing room.

It requires trust

Building an awesome bond doesn't happen overnight – we only wish that were the case, but in reality, the trust that needs to develop in order for a relationship to really reach the next level takes time.
But rather than sitting around and waiting, there are a few simple steps you can take to get the ball rolling.

  • Be honest. If you're honest with him, the idea is that he'll follow suit.
  • You don't have to tell each other everything right away (some mystery is a good thing) but do open up about parts of your life that will help the two of you bond.
  • Be reliable. If you say you're going to do something, do it. The same goes for him.
  • Be trusting. Unless something happens to break your trust, give him the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst.

It takes two to tango

A strong bond can't be achieved with only one person doing all the heavy lifting. It really does take two people to make a relationship work and if one of you is doing a lackluster job, then you know what we're going to say next, right? Either pick up the slack or think about moving on. You have to WANT to make a relationship work and if one of you doesn't seem to think that whole "effort" thing is important, than you might be entering choppy waters. It will be sink or swim time before you know it. But if both of you are happy to work at building a strong bond, you're well on your way to a healthy, happy relationship.

It's totally worth the work

We probably don't have to tell you this if you're already doing all of the above and taking the good with the not-so-good, but in case you need a friendly reminder, putting a little elbow grease into building a great bond with your guy is totally worth it. You'll go further together, trust each other more and feel more comfortable with one another. If that's not a win-win situation, we don't know what is!

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Tags: compromise trust

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Comments

Comments on "Building a better bond: What you need to know"

Amy July 23, 2012 | 4:34 PM

I agree that it's totally worth the work. That feeling when you first met will go away, or atleast come and go, but it doesn't mean the relationship should be given up on. Stay positive and enjoy being with your partner. When we have date nights, I get that giddy feeling all over again...but it's definitely not everyday like when we first met :)

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