How many times do you walk into a room and then back out again without saying a word to your significant other? We're willing to bet it happens a lot. You're busy, he's busy, you're both staring at different screens (smartphones, laptop, television) and maybe you just don't feel like talking after a long, frustrating day at work. But trust us when we tell you that the more you make time to talk, the better your relationship will work. Even 10 minutes at the beginning or end of each day can help a lot when it comes to keeping up to date on what's going on in each other's lives. And if you can add one night a week out – pub, café, bistro – to really reconnect, you should be on your way to a better bond.
Think about all the fun you used to have before real life got in the way. The beginning of every relationship is usually pretty care free – you're basking in the glow of each other and not thinking about things like paying rent, having to spend yet another summer weekend with his annoying brother or dealing with the struggles of balancing your career and a relationship. Instead of letting all of life's pesky problems cloud your thoughts, focus on the positive and make more time for having fun with your guy. Instead of grabbing your phone to see if you missed any work emails or flipping on the TV immediately after dinner, go get ice cream or have coffee on your balcony. On weekends, plan some fun things to do.
The battle of who gets the last word or who ends up giving in first are common, but totally counter-productive. The best way to take any stress out of your relationship is to make an effort to find a compromise when you argue, versus giving in to the temptation to dig in your heels and not budge until you get your way. Compromising means coming to an agreement you can both live with and that suits both of your needs, rather than having every issue that comes up turn into a full-blown fight. It's always fun to win, but if it means one of you being angry for the rest of the day (or longer), being stubborn just isn't worth it. Here are a few tips for making compromise easier:
Listen to each other. It's easy to get off track during an argument, especially if you really feel you're right, but do try to listen to one another's concerns.
Take turns talking and each state your case, along with one solution you feel is fair.
Walk away for a few minutes if things get too heated.
If things come to a stalemate each offer up one solution you feel would work for both of you – not just what you want, but something that your partner might find acceptable.
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