After you've been with your significant other for a while, some of the passion is inevitably going to wane. Tessina says that humor can really help at this point. "The burden of passion can be a heavy one," she says. "Having to rev up the energy for a passionate, heavy-breathing session making love after a hard day's work can be an appalling prospect." But getting playful with one another (having a tickle fight, wrestling on the bed) can easily to turn into something sexy -- minus the pressure to perform. "Suddenly, the heaviness and obligation are gone."
Your to-do list is probably a mile long -- dishes to do, laundry to put away, work to finish, shopping to be done -- all of which can lead to arguments between you and your partner. Laughter can lighten the burden of responsibility and make solving problems easier. After you laugh together, doing something constructive about the problem as a team is easier. "Hectic lives benefit greatly from a sense of humor," says Tessina. Plus, storing up resentments against someone who makes you laugh is difficult.
Humor seems to be the secret in keeping love fresh and alive, and in feeling confident that your relationship will remain strong, explains Tessina. She says of her own relationship, "I have learned that replacing the drama of struggle with the delight of humor can be a positive addiction -- and a powerful solution for what to do with our time together." She has become an advocate of what she refers to as "the silly solution." "It's working better than all the seriousness I used to think my relationships required," she says.
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