Make A Move And Snag A Hottie
In a modern world, "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" isn't going to cut it. Not that it ever did. Just because you're not a dude (or a certified pick-up artist) doesn't mean you can't go sarging with the girls on a Saturday night. Here, we offer the best pick-up lines for any locale. Even church.
A young, single Jonathan Safran Foer type should definitely be on the bookshop café's "treats" menu. To dig through the man stacks yourself, try this pickup line, from Glamour's Smitten blog:
People are much more likely to go to the new releases than "Military History" or other niche spot you could linger in. It's also really easy to ask "Have you read this yet?" or, conversely, "Oh, I just read that, it was amazing, you should definitely get it!"
Who needs bars when we have blogs? Or, er, 140-character social-media networking sites, to be more specific. Try one of these sweet, tongue-in-cheek tweets, from YourTango. (If he LOLs, you know he's a keeper.):
If Twitter is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
Fancy tweeting someone like you in a place like this.
It's so simple, yet so perfect. Try this smooth move, from BettyConfidential.com:
I was on a crowded airplane and during the 'hustle and bustle' of stowing my luggage and getting settled in my seat came to discover I no longer had my cell phone. In a panic, I turned to the guy in the seat behind me, explained the situation and asked if he could call my phone so I could try to find it. Gave him my digits and had him make the call.
As soon as I heard my phone start ringing I immediately realized what had just transpired and the new "super power" I now possessed of being able to give hot guys my number while simultaneously obtaining theirs.
Hey, God wants us to procreate, right? This line is near-perfect: "You know Jesus?! Me too!"
Okay, that's not a real one, but it's pretty great. Your best bet at church is to keep it sincere and PG — just show up to the youth group functions and try to sit next to him in Bible study. Asking him for his interpretation of 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 is probably a good way to weed out any misogynists.
It's all hot and sweaty in there anyway. Might as well make the most of it. These lines, from a guy on a random message board from 2004 (seriously) stand the test of time and are actually pretty brilliant:
While waiting for a turn on a machine ask, "Do you mind if I squeeze in between your sets?"
Once this hot chick came over and asked me to adjust a machine for her. I asked her how far she wanted it and she said, "All the way..." I had the overwhelming feeling she wasn't talking about the adjustment.
Noise, beer, tons of people, controlled chaos: If you're afraid of rejection, a concert is the perfect place to try and chat a guy up.
Here's your opener: "Is this your first time seeing [insert name of band here]?" And let the conversation flow. It's almost too easy. The only time this doesn't work is if the guy is wearing an old concert tee featuring the musical act in question, but do you want to date "that guy" who wears the shirt of the band to the concert? Didn't think so.
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