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4 Guys we date before The One

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Practicing for Mr. Right

Not many of us are lucky enough to find true love right out of the gate. Meeting the person with whom you’re meant to spend the rest of your life takes time and maturity -- and chances are you will go through more than a few not-quite-right guys. We’ve put together a list of the most common types of guys women date before meeting Mr. Right.

girlfriend and boyfriend smiling

Who you'll date before The One...

1Boyfriend type: LonerThe angsty loner

Many women meet Bachelor Number One when they're in high school or college. He's usually a little older and he's in a band, or maybe he's an artist. He keeps to himself, but he seems like the coolest guy you've ever met. He writes poetry and reads philosophy. For the first little while, you're enamored by how smart and worldly he is compared to guys your own age.

Pros: You feel cool and interesting just being around him. He's pretty sexy in that dark, brooding kind of way, and he lets you wear his perfectly beaten-up leather jacket.

Cons:  He's actually pretty immature. Everything you do is on his terms, and he blames the "establishment" for everything.

2Boyfriend type: The good-on-paper guyThe good-on-paper guy

This guy has all the attributes of a guy you can and should bring home to Mom, but something is missing. He's usually a nice guy with a well paying job. He owns property and a dog, and just wants to make you happy. He cooks, cleans and reminds you to call your mother, but still, you aren't completely certain he's the guy for you.

Pros: He will drive you or pick you up from anywhere. Your mom loves him. He always has a stocked fridge and clean towels, and his dog is pretty cute.

Cons: He's actually a little bit boring. He lectures you about finances and wonders why you're not more serious about investing. In truth, he reminds you a little of your dad.

Read: Men to avoid: 7 non-negotiable types of guys >>

3Boyfriend type: The jerk or The jerk or "bad boy"

You wouldn't think any smart, sane woman would fall for a guy who turns out to a be a jerk, but we all do it. This is the guy with a bit of an edge. You know deep down that he isn't right for you, but you are very attracted to him -- and the sex... well, le'ts just say you're not complaining about it. There is passion, but not a whole lot of anything else or any hope of moving the relationship forward. He doesn't show affection, and in the end, causes more heartache than he's worth.

Pros: Great sex, lots of passion, initial excitement

Cons: He never tells you he loves you. When you suggest moving in together, he laughs. He is emotionally unavailable.

4Boyfriend type: The one who won't commitThe one who won't commit

We usually meet this guy shortly before we meet The One. The guy who won't commit starts off very promising. The relationship has passion and intrigue, as well as camaraderie and friendship. You can have great sex and then a great conversation. You feel alive and in love. When the time comes to move in together or talk about marriage, however, he freaks out and eventually has to leave.

Pros: Great guy, almost Mr. Right

Cons: Can't commit despite your best intentions


We make no promises that #5 is the guy for you.

However, wouldn't you agree it's true what they say?:
You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince!


By reader request...

It seems there are a few other important types of guys we missed, and by way of special request from friends of SheKnows, we just had to include these superb additions:

CheckmarkThe nerdy, nonconformist tool bag

In addition to playing Halo in his boxers, The NNTB, enjoys using words like "vapid" and "eviscerate" in casual language. He denounces mainstream music and spends most of his time reading Wikipedia articles while fiddling with his junk.

Pros: He's intelligent, funny and good at playing Jeopardy.

Cons: No one likes him.

CheckmarkThe "I'm European, so it's okay" guy

Contrary to what he may whole-heartedly believe, his Green Card does not excuse him from the following:

  • Speedo
  • greasy hair
  • saying "hello" to other women with an open-mouthed kiss
  • going through a bottle of cheap cologne per day
  • scarce showers

He's polite to your friends and family, but in a condescending sort of way. The man loves to shop and has a sizzlning sense of style. He snaps his fingers in the air to catch the attention of taxis, the waitress, the cat, and you.

Pros: His sexy, make you weak-in-the-knees accent. And his shoes.

Cons: His aforementioned collection of annoying "cultured" habits.

CheckmarkThe guy whose mood depends on the success of his sports teams

Don't you dare say it's just a game! This guy generally refers to his sports teams in the first person: "We have this one in the bag." "We faltered on the bottom of the ninth, but we still have a chance." His love for you is directly proportional to how his teams are performing.

Pros: At least he's passionate about something… right? Plus, when the Red Sox win, the sex is great!

Cons: The Red Sox never win.

CheckmarkMr. It's not me, it's you

This guy loves himself in a way that will never allow room for you or anyone else. Not even his mom. He's a great dresser, responsible and dependable, has a admirable job, a commitment to his workout routine and a dog that suspiciously resembles him. Your friends and family all think he's a catch, but keeps you on eggshells. He's always right, even when he's not.

Pros: He'll take care of the plans, and they'll always go off without a hitch.

Cons: If you leave, he may not notice.


Check out: 3 more types of guys to avoid >>


More dating tips & advice

Stop being so indecisive
3 Reasons to date against-type
Don't block love from your life

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