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Becoming friends with your ex

After receiving her masters degree in Alternative Dispute Resolution, Lois Tarter worked as a Mediator for the City Attorneys office in Los Angeles. She noticed how anger and hostility were major stumbling blocks in the completion of div...

Staying friends with your ex after divorce

Once the ink is dry on the divorce papers, it seems that some exes are becoming friends with each other. I am always surprised to hear that a divorced couple becomes so close again after everything ended. I would assume that they were unhappy together and looking forward to meeting new people and finding new ways to spend their time.

Staying friends with your ex after divorce

Becoming best friends with your ex

The "BFF with your ex" phenomena is not fiction. These days, in many post-divorce situations it's become fact. Recently, I attended a friend's daughter's wedding. He had been divorced from his ex-wife for many years and didn't speak much about her. At the reception, I was surprised to see that his relationship with the ex-spouse appeared to be sweeter than the wedding cake. They were chatting up a storm. Laughing at each others' jokes. Dancing closely together. Sharing stories with their friends over cocktails. They were even feeding each other wedding cake, acting as though they had just met and fallen in love! I found this to be truly fascinating. Sure, I have heard of exes being civil following their split, even spending holidays together. However, this seemed to be more than just a cordial hello and "how have you been?"

Curious about what would prompt two people to rekindle a friendship after a divorce, I pulled my friend aside and asked him about it. Point blank, he told me that he and his ex-wife were best friends. Best friends? I thought. Really? He went on to say nothing's perfect and that maybe they expected too much from each other during the marriage. Now, they both feel that they make better friends than they did a married couple.

Staying close with your ex

In Hollywood, it seems that being close with your ex is becoming commonplace, as well. Kate Hudson and her ex-husband Chris Robinson were spotted recently at a park in Malibu with their son. Also in attendance were Robinson's present wife and their daughter. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz who filed for divorce, both made it publically known that they still care for each other. It looks like time does heal all wounds and family comes first. In all of these cases, children were involved and it's great to see that many parents put aside any hard feelings so they can focus on the needs of their children.

TELL US: Do you think that being BFF's with your ex is realistically possible and a trend that is here to stay? Share you thoughts in the comments section below!

Up next: How to mend relationship with your ex >>


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