Staying Friends With Your Ex After Divorce

Once the ink is dry on the divorce papers, it seems that some exes are becoming friends with each other. I am always surprised to hear that a divorced couple becomes so close again after everything ended. I would assume that they were unhappy together and looking forward to meeting new people and finding new ways to spend their time.

Friends with ex

Becoming best friends with your ex

The "BFF with your ex" phenomena is not fiction. These days, in many post-divorce situations it's become fact. Recently, I attended a friend's daughter's wedding. He had been divorced from his ex-wife for many years and didn't speak much about her. At the reception, I was surprised to see that his relationship with the ex-spouse appeared to be sweeter than the wedding cake. They were chatting up a storm. Laughing at each others' jokes. Dancing closely together. Sharing stories with their friends over cocktails. They were even feeding each other wedding cake, acting as though they had just met and fallen in love! I found this to be truly fascinating. Sure, I have heard of exes being civil following their split, even spending holidays together. However, this seemed to be more than just a cordial hello and "how have you been?"

Curious about what would prompt two people to rekindle a friendship after a divorce, I pulled my friend aside and asked him about it. Point blank, he told me that he and his ex-wife were best friends. Best friends? I thought. Really? He went on to say nothing's perfect and that maybe they expected too much from each other during the marriage. Now, they both feel that they make better friends than they did a married couple.

Staying close with your ex

In Hollywood, it seems that being close with your ex is becoming commonplace, as well. Kate Hudson and her ex-husband Chris Robinson were spotted recently at a park in Malibu with their son. Also in attendance were Robinson's present wife and their daughter. Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz who filed for divorce, both made it publically known that they still care for each other. It looks like time does heal all wounds and family comes first. In all of these cases, children were involved and it's great to see that many parents put aside any hard feelings so they can focus on the needs of their children.

TELL US: Do you think that being BFF's with your ex is realistically possible and a trend that is here to stay? Share you thoughts in the comments section below!

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Comments

Comments on "Becoming friends with your ex"

Malisa Michael June 17, 2013 | 8:54 AM

emmmm.... i think to be the BFF of ur EX is not a tough thing, but anyhow... when two ppl are so close and sudden they seprate from each other is a really a painful thing... it really seems im-mature walkin' alone, fells lifes over. and get patch-up again... then why do u guyzz get seprate?????

Muhammad March 14, 2013 | 12:08 PM

It's impossible for me, I can not even think of it "BFF with your ex". How could a person escape from his/her past memories and the continuous heart pain for failing to continue the relationship with whom he/she has a real love? Just 3 month back I broke up with my girl friend, last seven years, I passed my best time of life with her. And, at the last 3 months I saw her 3 times and I felt extreme pain in the heart and was crying every time while returning once meet her. So, I decided not to see her again (though I know I cant). I just still love her and my love for her becoming deeper everyday though I know she will never come back by leaving her husband.

xarah njeri February 02, 2013 | 3:23 AM

my ex wants to be friends with me but its so hard and tricky too because when with him,i keep remembering every moment we had together which tempts me even more to have him back in my life,but because am too proud,i cant show him whats in ma heart

Erin June 04, 2012 | 5:18 PM

I think if you have kids, then yes, you have to do what's best for them and stay friends (or atleast not hate eachother) with your ex. On the other hand, if kids aren't involved, I do not at all see the point in staying friends. Obviously you loved that person, and staying friends would bring back those feelings (even if it was every now and then, why would you want those feelings coming back?). This could affect all of your future relationships and prevent you from moving on.

Emma May 31, 2012 | 8:06 AM

I think that becoming best friends with your ex is really tricky and just makes me wonder why you couldn't stay married?! I think your spouse should always be your best friend. I think it is important when kids are involved to stay on as best terms as possible, and I could see the nostalgia of a wedding bringing a couple closer again. But I also know that will not be the case for my parents! Ha

TheFashionstachic February 08, 2012 | 5:09 PM

That seems so mature. I am so in love with my husband I don't think I could only be his friends. Yes we fight like cats and dogs but we are madly in love.

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