Keep Jealousy
Under Wraps

You’re dating a great guy, things are moving along nicely, and you have fun together. The only problem is his bevy of female friends. What’s up with that? Just as women have male friends, guys often have female friends; still, we understand your concern. To help you better deal with your man’s female friends, here are a few tips.

Jealous woman

1Don't assume the worst.

Don't make the easy assumption that his female friends all want him. Before you call them a bunch of floosies, consider the fact that they may just enjoy your boyfriend's company. When you first meet them, it's better for everyone if you play it cool.

2Give them a chance.

Maybe, just maybe, you can become friends with your guy's female BFF. Give her a chance. Find out what the two of you have in common, try meeting her for coffee to get to know her better, or invite her out with some of your friends to see if there's a chance you two can bond.

3Don't act coldly toward them.

You'll kill any chance of goodwill or future friendship if you're immediately cold and unpleasant to his friends. Just be yourself; ideally, you'll bond with at least one of them. You don't have to love them all, but life will be easier for you and your guy if you limit the negativity.

4Voice concerns, but don't panic.

If you've become suspicious of a female friend's intentions (as in, she does want to hop into bed with him), voice your concerns, but don't freak out or cause a scene. Chances are, he may not believe you, so don't push it. If her intentions become really obvious and he continues to hang out with her -- alone -- then you can up the ante. Just make sure he knows how you feel.

More dating advice

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Comments on "Dealing with your boyfriend's female friends"

Annie July 31, 2013 | 4:14 PM

Hello all, I have been dating my guy for a year and a half and he has multiple girl-friends in which he considers his best friends. I am from a small town and yes I have guy friends but lets face it ladies we really only have our best guy friends to meet their friends. So, needless to say I left that all behind me. Now, for my boyfriend it is totally different. He has these girl friends that he maintains friendships with and to be honest I do not get along with any of them. I have never had to really deal with this before. One or two girls yes but not an entire army of girls. I feel like I am past all the meet and greet stuff now and it was never handled well because it was always in a drinking/bar setting. I am not having this fight over and over again. I have no clue what to do at this point. In my eyes it's a complete slap in the face that he even needs these girls in his life day in and day out. In my eyes guys and girls cannot have a totally platonic unless one or the other is . Which I must say there is nothing wrong with. He feels totally opposite. This is truly my breaking point. He thinks I'm crazy and so do some of my friends. I guess when you get cheated on in every single relationship there is just no trust left to give. I don't believe in my heart of hearts that there is absolutely no feelings there. Any Advice?

Sammy December 10, 2012 | 8:02 PM

My boyfiend know his friend less than 1 year but he already being too nice to them particularly to one of the girl. I swear to god he always mentioned this girl name every single time we started a conversation. He even ask them to stay with him every weekend and use our bathroom even our bed whenever they want and he also buy them a cloth if he have extra money. He did introduce to me and tell me their are like his sister. But what bother me a lot the girl he being friend with doesn't mind to date with married guy even all of them did the same thing and to make it worst they are hot and very2 young. I did mentioned my concern but he still being close to them even secretly texting them behind my back.Oh did i mentioned he did lied to me a lot?

Sheena SLI March 09, 2012 | 3:28 PM

I've been dating a guy for four mths and have been fighting consistently over this issue. we all work together on the weekends, and he has known them for a year. Its hard to deal with bc they have inside jokes that I dont get, or they cut up differently, which is fine-I have to deal with it bc im not used to it. You have to rise above it and play it smart. I honestly despise them but have to out of respect for my bf be cordial with them. Dont always complain to him about it, bc it will push him away to his bffs. be nice to the girls so that they dont get pissed at you and invite him to things without you. You just have to play it smart. Remember that your interactions with him are completely different than those girls.

Stephanie February 08, 2012 | 1:50 PM

My boyfriend has a ton of female friends and one he considers ha "best friend" who he can talk about similar music And sports with, which I get because I have guys friends. The thing that bothers me is she is in LOVE with him. He said he will never let her cross the line and has stopped her in the past, but it still bothers me. I know I can trust him but I know I can't trust her or any of these other girls because they want nothing but I take him away from me and to give him reasons why I'm not good enough for him. He says it's not a big deal, if he doesn't listen to them why should it matter...but isn't it wrong in a way? I just don't want to be looked at as the dumb one here.

Asana .I. Adebayo December 17, 2011 | 3:22 AM

Well i am not in support of my guy aving female friends because most of their intentiöns is to steal him total from his lover,especially when they noticed he cares so much about his lover...( guy should be for me and me alone).

VeggieGirl April 14, 2011 | 2:42 PM

My best friend is a guy, and he and I are very close. He always makes sure that his girlfriend (if he has one - he's single again now) understands our relationship and that if she's not okay with it, then he's moving on away from her. He doesn't want to let some girl make him and I drift apart since we care a lot about each other. Same thing for me, with potential boyfriends - if the guy isn't okay with my best friend being a guy, then the boyfriend is history.

Amina M.Kamel April 14, 2011 | 1:11 PM

hi , i`m Amina from cairo Egypt now i`m lookin` 4 my soul mate & 2 start over 4 takin` my life back a month ago About the subject here i think that i can`t accept that specially after my experiance that he broke-up & note once but twice with me bocz of her & told me that he will kill me too also he didn`t pay attention about my feelings & keep talkin` about them as if they r little ones & girls of 5 years old he listen 2 them when they go on fight with their boyfriends & he don`t listen 2 me about what make me angry with him so i say no fmale friends

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