How To Deal When
He Has A New Girlfriend

Even if you were the one to end your last relationship, accepting that your ex is seeing someone new can be hard. Making this discovery when you still have feelings for him is doubly painful. Whatever your post-relationship situation, we have some helpful strategies for handling the fact that your ex has moved on.

Jealous woman


Stay calm.

Your first instinct may be to freak out as soon as you find out your ex has a new flame, but do your best to maintain your composure. Allowing yourself to fall apart will just send you into a downward spiral. Rather than wallow in it, use the news as a sign it's time to move on. Call some girlfriends and meet for dinner or coffee so you don't have to be alone. Talk about the situation with them, but then cut yourself off from over-thinking it.

2Don't make comparisons.

If you end up hearing about what she does, what she looks like or how she dresses from mutual friends, the worst thing you can do is start comparing yourself to the new woman. Whether he's dating your physical opposite or your doppelganger, what your ex does now that you're not together is no concern of yours. Don't drive yourself crazy with the details about his new girlfriend.

3Avoid cyber stalking.

If you and your ex are still connected via social networks, resist the urge to peek at his profile to see if he's posted pictures of his new flame. Seeing them together in some loved-up pose is just going to make you feel worse. Stay off of Facebook until you think you can handle the possibility of seeing them together.

4Don't relive the breakup.

Hearing that your ex has found someone new has the potential to send you into a panic. That's understandable, especially if you're not over him. But try not to torture yourself by going over your breakup with a fine-toothed comb just because you can't quite believe he's moved on. The two of you just weren't meant to be -- so do your best to move on, too.

More breakup advice

How to really get over your ex
What not to do after getting dumped
3 Ways to get over your ex right now


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Comments on "When your ex has someone new"

Christine July 06, 2013 | 5:07 AM

I am currently going thru a divorce from a 25 year marriage and learned that my soon to be ex already has a new girlfriend. Worst yet I was exposed to her thru his companies monthly newsletter that is published monthly as they profiled her promotion in the newsletter. I wish I would have never seen her, because all I do now is compare myself to her and it consumes me on a daily basis.

Karina July 02, 2013 | 11:21 AM

I too have just found out that my ex-husband of 10 years is in a relationship with someone much younger than me and appears to have 'moved on'. Even though I asked for the divorce, it still hurts like hell. There's a part of me that wants him to be a lonely old man (our marriage was unhappy throughout) and another part of me that wants to be altruistic and be happy for him but it's so difficult. I just feel like hiding in my room for weeks. I haven't eaten and slept well since I found out. I feel sick to my stomach and I've been acting really crazy. It's just painful. I don't know if I'll ever get over it.

Simplyfaz June 29, 2013 | 5:52 PM

Yes LISA, you are right and i totally agree with you. I just saw my ex of 5 years with his new girl last night. He looks happier now and i just want him to be happy always eventhough im not the one for him anymore.

Amanda February 28, 2013 | 7:27 AM

My boyfriend just broke up with me yesterday, and well uh he didn't TELL me that we were over. He told other people but not me. But when he was with me he called his ex-girlfriend a -----. Now his ex is his new "adorable" and now i'm the -----.

Lisa August 13, 2012 | 4:00 PM

It's bound to happen, and yes, it's hard, but you have to get over with it and accept it. I'm the type of person where I truly want my ex to be happy, so even though I don't want to SEE them together or hear about it, I do deep down want him to be happy (yes, despite what he did to me).

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