The credit card statements come in the mail and you're appalled. Your mate has blown the budget yet again on really important stuff (yeah, right) like lunches out, some techie marvel and getting the car detailed.
If you answered #1:
You're a saint, and your spouse should worship at your feet, but you will likely end up broke by the end of the year.
If you answered #2:
You're a devoted and well-meaning sweetie, but you're likely to end up miserable, shoeless and eating catfood.
If you answered #3:
Here it comes!... the full blown monthly drag-down, knock-out, who-racks-up-more-charges fight which ends up every time with yelling, tears and frightened kids hiding far from the den. Lovely.
Fold, sacrifice or pitch a fit -- all three methods are ineffective. Instead, try another approach altogether, something like: "Honey, I need your help here. I'm wondering how we could re-organize our budget. What do you think?"
Now your spouse doesn't need to defend himself, which means he can actually put his thinking cap on and try to figure out what to do. Most men really love fixing things so take advantage of that and get his help to fix the credit card mess.
Really listen. Don't just give him lip-service. Then offer your ideas. See if somewhere between your ideas and his there is something workable, like a certain amount of your paychecks allotted to a "hands-off, for household expenses only" account, and maybe another amount to a "fun account" for each of you. Or maybe you agree at the beginning of the month how much goes towards what, remembering to factor in pleasure as well as necessities.
Self-sacrifice as a regular thing isn't healthy in a relationship, nor is tearing Honey's head off for over-spending. Finding that middle ground may take some effort, but it is totally worth it.
You're not alone if you and your partner fight over expenses. Find out the top 3 things couples argue over >>
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