Is He An Over-Spender?
If you're fighting over finances and your man is an over-spender, here are some helpful marriage and money tips for you. Resolve your budget issues and stop arguing -- here's how!
How to stop fighting over finances
The credit card statements come in the mail and you're appalled. Your mate has blown the budget yet again on really important stuff (yeah, right) like lunches out, some techie marvel and getting the car detailed.
Your most likely response is:
How did you answer?
If you answered #1:
If you answered #2:
If you answered #3:
Dealing with your man's over-spending
Fold, sacrifice or pitch a fit -- all three methods are ineffective. Instead, try another approach altogether, something like: "Honey, I need your help here. I'm wondering how we could re-organize our budget. What do you think?"
Now your spouse doesn't need to defend himself, which means he can actually put his thinking cap on and try to figure out what to do. Most men really love fixing things so take advantage of that and get his help to fix the credit card mess.
Listen to his ideas
Really listen. Don't just give him lip-service. Then offer your ideas. See if somewhere between your ideas and his there is something workable, like a certain amount of your paychecks allotted to a "hands-off, for household expenses only" account, and maybe another amount to a "fun account" for each of you. Or maybe you agree at the beginning of the month how much goes towards what, remembering to factor in pleasure as well as necessities.
Finding a middle ground
Self-sacrifice as a regular thing isn't healthy in a relationship, nor is tearing Honey's head off for over-spending. Finding that middle ground may take some effort, but it is totally worth it.
More on couples and finances
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More love expert advice
Every couple will have to face the money battle eventually. The key is knowing how to handle it right. If you go into it bringing out the big guns, you're more than likely attacking him and not listening. If you approach his overspending more calmly and ready to compromise, you're more likely to see results.