Couples & Arguing

Arguing is a fact of relationship life, whether we like it or not. Here are the top three reasons couples fight -- and some advice for dealing with the arguments that are likely to crop up at some point in your relationship.

Couple arguing over finances

1Money

Most couples fight about finances at some point -- most likely more than once. Whether it's about not having enough (and how to make more) or where to spend the money you do have (he wants a new TV, you want a week at an all-inclusive resort), money is never an easy thing to discuss. Here are some tips for dealing with money issues:

  • Be open and honest about how much you have and how much you need.
  • Set a weekly or monthly budget and stick to it.
  • Set up savings accounts for items you want to purchase (that TV or trip).
  • Don't spend more than you have.
  • Make paying bills your top priority.
  • Set a small sum aside for something small from which you can both benefit, like a weekend away.

More financial tips >>

2Sex

Sex becomes a huge point of contention in many relationships. Not enough time and too much stress can lead to one person not feeling in the mood, leaving the other person frustrated. If you find yourself fighting about sex on a regular basis, here's how to minimize conflict:

  • Let your partner know it's not him; it's work or other issues that have you preoccupied.
  • Schedule sex for a time during the week when you know you'll have less on your plate.
  • Ask for a raincheck.
  • Discuss ways to make sex more of a priority.
  • If you're in a sexual rut, try some new things to make lovemaking more exciting.

Find out more abou what to do when you're not in the mood for sex >>

More sex advice >>

3Housework

Do you argue about who's going to take out the trash? How about laundry, dishes and grocery shopping? You're not alone. Dividing up housework is a major point of contention for many couples and seems to come up continuously. Give these tips a try.

  • If you're doing the bulk of the work, explain that it's not fair for you to be doing everything and that you need his help.
  • Create a chore chart that outlines each person's tasks for the week.
  • Ask him to think of the relationship as a team in which both parties need to participate equally.
  • Try not to nag; instead, point out that he's better at doing some things, and you would appreciate his help doing them.
  • Reward each other for taking on the chores that no one wants to do.

More advice for sharing housework >>

More relationship advice

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How to argue like a pro
How to choose your relationship battles

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Comments

Comments on "What couples fight about most"

Katie August 21, 2012 | 9:31 AM

I think money and are the things we argue about most. We've gotten better with money and both have made a promise to be honest with each other. Both of us aren't huge spenders, but when we do spend we always disagree what to buy. We try to compromise and take turns now.

Bryn May 14, 2012 | 3:32 PM

My man and I fight a lot about money. We both have different spending styles. I think we both can be impulsive, but he makes big purchases and then sometimes never tells me! I don't have to control our money, but it is pretty shocking to find something new he has that I had no idea about!

Emma May 14, 2012 | 3:30 PM

One on one time is crucial in a relationship, and if you are a person who truly values quality time and aren't getting that, it can cause a lot of fights. Good luck Teresa, I hope you have found the balance with your man. I bet if you were his roommate things would get a lot better!

Teresa June 27, 2011 | 4:31 PM

We don't usually fight about those mentioned in the article. We fight more so about his friends being around all the goddamn time. I liked it better when my boyfriend DID NOT have a roommate; a lot more one-on-one time. I wonder if we can ever have that again....

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