Arguing is a fact of relationship life, whether we like it or not. Here are the top three reasons couples fight -- and some advice for dealing with the arguments that are likely to crop up at some point in your relationship.
Most couples fight about finances at some point -- most likely more than once. Whether it's about not having enough (and how to make more) or where to spend the money you do have (he wants a new TV, you want a week at an all-inclusive resort), money is never an easy thing to discuss. Here are some tips for dealing with money issues:
- Be open and honest about how much you have and how much you need.
- Set a weekly or monthly budget and stick to it.
- Set up savings accounts for items you want to purchase (that TV or trip).
- Don't spend more than you have.
- Make paying bills your top priority.
- Set a small sum aside for something small from which you can both benefit, like a weekend away.
Sex becomes a huge point of contention in many relationships. Not enough time and too much stress can lead to one person not feeling in the mood, leaving the other person frustrated. If you find yourself fighting about sex on a regular basis, here's how to minimize conflict:
- Let your partner know it's not him; it's work or other issues that have you preoccupied.
- Schedule sex for a time during the week when you know you'll have less on your plate.
- Ask for a raincheck.
- Discuss ways to make sex more of a priority.
- If you're in a sexual rut, try some new things to make lovemaking more exciting.
Do you argue about who's going to take out the trash? How about laundry, dishes and grocery shopping? You're not alone. Dividing up housework is a major point of contention for many couples and seems to come up continuously. Give these tips a try.
- If you're doing the bulk of the work, explain that it's not fair for you to be doing everything and that you need his help.
- Create a chore chart that outlines each person's tasks for the week.
- Ask him to think of the relationship as a team in which both parties need to participate equally.
- Try not to nag; instead, point out that he's better at doing some things, and you would appreciate his help doing them.
- Reward each other for taking on the chores that no one wants to do.
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