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Avoid man-hating with the girls

Dr. Noelle Nelson is a relationship expert and an internationally respected psychologist, author and seminar leader. She has given life-changing guidance to couples for more than 20 years.

Check out Noelles relationship and marriage advic...

How to avoid the frenzy feeding

We can pretty much bet that when we get together with our girlfriends after work or on the weekends the subject is (shocker!): MEN.

How to avoid the frenzy feeding

The man-hating feeding frenzy

It usually starts off generically, as in "Men are so stupid!" "Pigs! They leave everything everywhere" "No sensitivity" "Hell, no conversation!" "Little boys who never grew up" "Or want to!" and you whoop with laughter as you and your girlfriends tell anecdotes of men's latest display of Neanderthalism.

Soon you graduate to your men. Your current guy, your husbands and boyfriends, they're all up for grabs. You regale each other with tales of how he thought the way to "wash the tomatoes" was to use dishwashing liquid and hot water, or how he insists on wearing his polyester jumpsuit regardless of how outdated and dorky it looks -- "it's comfortable" being his defense. Or, how he's so cowardly he couldn't get up the gumption to ask for a raise even though he's ridiculously overworked. And on and on.

How you're hurting your relationship

Ah, the feeding frenzy. What joy you all have in pouncing on your man's every little flaw and ripping him to shreds! That glorious feeing of superiority: I am woman, hear me ROAR!!

And roar you should -- you've developed and trained and honed yourself into a wonderfully able human being. But you don't have to cannibalize your mate in the process. Because the result isn't exactly stellar. When you get home, you don't look at your sweetheart through the eyes of love, you look at him through the eyes of "What a dolt you are!" You don't see his good points because you've been haranguing on his not-so-wonderful points all afternoon. The stupid him, the cowardly him, the lunkhead him.

Don't demean the very person from whom you seek your happily-ever-after. Resist the feeding frenzy and honor your mate. He's much more likely to live up to his good stuff.

Remember why you fell in love

While the girls may continue to gab about their men's downfalls, avoid falling into the trap of belittling or picking on your man. Remember the little things that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Check out: 5 ways to re-fall in love and 8 signs you're falling for someone >>

How to avoid the frenzy feeding

Be Positive!
Make an effort to be as positive as possible with your mate. Focusing on those positive notes will make your couple time together that much more rewarding!

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