If you really want to get to the bottom of what's bothering both of you -- whether it's something trivial such as dividing housework or something more serious such as deciding where the relationship is going -- you have to listen to each other. Yelling won't get you anywhere because you won't be able to hear what the other person is saying. To argue intelligently, you must listen to each other.
One way to ensure you're listening to each other is to take turns. During a fight, things can get intense quickly, and it's easy to just talk (or scream) while the other person is talking. But give each other the chance to take the floor and voice an opinion so you actually have something to discuss.
If you don't agree with what your partner is saying or just can't see his side, ask questions before you start screaming. You may not end up agreeing with him, but at least you'll come away with a better idea of why he feels the way he does. The same goes for him: Suggest he ask you questions about your position in hopes he can better understand how you feel.
If things are escalating faster than you anticipated, take a break before the fight gets out of control. Whether one or both of you leave the room or the house to get some fresh air, take a few minutes or hours to be alone and calm down before you try again. Ideally, some time and space will give you a fresh perspective on the argument, making it easier to resolve.
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