Fights are a fact of relationship life. The hard part, of course, is resolving them quickly and in a way that doesn’t leave one party feeling jilted. Here are some ways to settle your next argument before it turns into an epic battle.
Listen to each other.
If you really want to get to the bottom of what's bothering both of you -- whether it's something trivial such as dividing housework or something more serious such as deciding where the relationship is going -- you have to listen to each other. Yelling won't get you anywhere because you won't be able to hear what the other person is saying. To argue intelligently, you must listen to each other.
Take turns.
One way to ensure you're listening to each other is to take turns. During a fight, things can get intense quickly, and it's easy to just talk (or scream) while the other person is talking. But give each other the chance to take the floor and voice an opinion so you actually have something to discuss.
Ask questions.
If you don't agree with what your partner is saying or just can't see his side, ask questions before you start screaming. You may not end up agreeing with him, but at least you'll come away with a better idea of why he feels the way he does. The same goes for him: Suggest he ask you questions about your position in hopes he can better understand how you feel.
Take a time-out.
If things are escalating faster than you anticipated, take a break before the fight gets out of control. Whether one or both of you leave the room or the house to get some fresh air, take a few minutes or hours to be alone and calm down before you try again. Ideally, some time and space will give you a fresh perspective on the argument, making it easier to resolve.
How to get your way
Relationships are all about compromise, but sometimes you just want to convince your guy to give in and acquiesce to your demands.
Relationship therapist Dr. Sheri Meyers discusses telltale body language signs that indicate your partner is not listening to you.
In the heat of an argument it's easy to get worked up and wonder to yourself what you ever saw in him. Dont' let yourself get to that point -- instead, take a tip from SheKnows Love Expert, Dr. Noelle Nelson. She advises us to build a love nest egg. Not the money kind (although that is a good idea) but the love kind. Find out what she means!
From my experience, I would say that taking a time out is the best advice. My guy and I can get very heated, so listening to each other goes out the window. If we take a breather for a few hours, we usually have calmed down and can rationally discuss what's going on.
Listen to each other.
Take turns.
Ask questions.
Take a time-out.
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