How to argue like a pro

Jan 31, 2011 11:02 AM by Jessica Padykula

Posted in Love & Sex / Marriage & Relationships / Dating

Fighting Do's
And Don'ts

All couples fight, whether they want to admit it or not, but there are good and bad ways to go about arguing with your significant other. Rather than roll up your sleeves and get dirty, argue with strategy in mind. Here are some simple tips for making fights more helpful and less explosive.

Unhappy couple arguing.

No name calling

Resorting to name-calling is a sure fire way to derail a fight and take all the emphasis off what you should be talking about. Fights usually start for a reason and involve issues that need discussing, so try your best to keep the petty jabs to a minimum. Making reference to his receding hair line in the middle of an argument about something serious won't do either of you any favors.

Stay focused

Once you get heated, it's easy to stray from the topic at hand, and start rhyming off every other thing that has ever frustrated you about your relationship. Rather than using the argument as an excuse to dredge up things that should have been discussed months (or even years) ago, stay focused on the fight going on right in front of you. Clear up one issue before moving on to the next.

Keep your voice down

Yelling can turn a discussion into an all-out war within seconds. Raising your voice is natural when you're having an argument, but speaking with conviction and screaming across the room are two totally different things, and one of them will only make things worse. And if one of you starts yelling, it's only a matter of time before the other person follows suit.

Don't assume

Assuming you know how your partner feels or what they're going to say makes having an honest argument very difficult. It means you've decided in advance what their position is, without giving them a chance to tell you themselves. Instead of reacting based on what you've assumed, hear your partner out.