Real stories: Cheaters and the women who stay with them

Jan 12, 2011 8:51 AM by Kori Ellis

Posted in Love & Sex / Marriage & Relationships / Marriage

Once A Cheater?

Most women believe: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." However, we talked to two women who believe their husbands cheated once and will never do it again.

It didn't mean anything

"If my husband carried on a relationship with a woman -- took her out, saw her multiple times -- and never had sex with her, I'd be crushed," says Marilee, 26-year-old from New York. "But my husband didn't do that. He had sex with one woman, one time in an isolated incident."

Marilee is convinced that her husband's affair didn't mean anything and she hasn't let it change their relationship. She forgave him in her heart and she doesn't talk about it with him at all anymore.

"If you are going to take your husband or boyfriend back after he cheats, you can't spend the rest of your life punishing him for it," she explains. "I decided to let it go and forgive him. So I don't harp on it. I'm not overly jealous or suspicious. Our lives are pretty much the same as they were before it happened."

Truly let it go

Cheryl, a 32-year-old from Chicago, agrees with Marilee. "You have to truly let it go," Cheryl says. "My husband got a blow job from a prostitute while on a business trip. He didn't f--k her and it was just once. I didn't have to find out about it -- he called me the next day and told me."

While many of us could never forgive such infidelity, these two women have found a way to move on and be happy.

"It was a mistake," says Cheryl. "I considered leaving him. We don't have kids. I have my own job and can certainly take care of myself. But I love my husband and I believe that he loves me."

How did Cheryl manage to get over it?

"We didn't go to counseling. There wasn't a lot of screaming and yelling. I just thought about what was right for me and the answer was staying in the marriage. I don't believe in the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' mantra."

Would you stay with your husband if he cheated on you?

Leave a comment below and let us know what you think.

More about cheating

The truth about why men cheat
10 Signs he's cheating on you
Can a cheater ever stop cheating?

Tags: affairs bad relationships cheaters cheating cheating husband dead end relationships infidelity love and relationships love tips marriage marriage and relationships real stories relationship relationship dos and don’ts relationship tips relationships signs he’s cheating

Comments

Comments on "Real stories: Cheaters and the women who stay with them"

I recently found out over the computer that my husband had a 6 mth affair a year ago. We have been married 36 years. He said he was depressed and thought that having someone else pay attention to him would make him happy. He must have wanted to get caught because it was easy once I started looking into the computer's send messages that he didn't delete. I have never seen in all our years together him cry but he has done a lot of crying now. He is sorry and wants forgiveness and is now seeing a counselor for his depression. He said he ended it because he new it was wrong and felt so guilty that it made matters worse. I still don't know where this will go but I am letting him stay for now.

Last February my husband had an affair with a woman who is known for sleeping with married men. He didn't have the courage to tell me to my face he texted me from the other room and as soon as he texted me he left. I went ballistic thinking how could he do this to me. I had a mental breakdown because we have been married for 13 years and all of a sudden this happens. I blamed myself for his cheating. We decided to work things out, but still to this day i fell resentment towards my husband and his accomplice who still to this day has bitterness towards me, his wife. Its a constant battle but we are working at our marriage.