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How to deal with conflicts in your marriage

Kori Ellis is an editor and writer based in San Antonio, TX, where she lives with her husband and four children. At SheKnows, she writes about parenting, fashion, beauty and other lifestyle topics. Additionally, Kori has been published i...

Marital problems

Arguing with your spouse or confronting him about issues is never pleasant but you can take some steps to make it a little easier. Relationship advisor and therapist Dr Terri Orbuch, author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House), offers these tips to deal with conflicts in your marriage.

Couple arguing

Choose your words carefully

When you're talking to your spouse, don't use statements like "always" and "never." These irrefutable and general comments box your partner in with no way out. In this impossible situation, he or she will usually just withdraw and get more upset.

Handle problems gently

The next time you want to talk to your spouse about something that annoys you, start the dialogue over the phone or email. Tell him what you want to talk about and your feelings about the specific issue. Then, ask if you can make an appointment with him today or tomorrow to discuss the issue and your feelings further.

Keep arguments out of the bedroom

Avoid conflict in the bedroom at night. You want the bedroom to be a neutral zone. And if you're looking forward to "make-up sex" after an argument, all you have to do is say "I'm really sorry" or "I'll make an effort to change."

More marriage tips

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Effective face-to-face communication
Marriage without criticism

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