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3 Reasons you're in a relationship rut

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Put a stop to bedroom boredom

If you think your sex life could use some spicing up but you’re not sure why, we’ve put together some common reasons your relationship could be in a rut. Check out our simple tips for boosting your bond and getting your relationship back on track.

couple in a relationship rut

3 culprits for ruts in love

Too much stress

Stress can put a serious damper on sex. The more concerned you are about your job or your finances, the less you'll feel like doing anything in the sack but sleeping. If your sex life has waned, think about what's going on your life; chances are you're preoccupied with other factors. Take some time to talk through what's bothering you so you can get back to the bedroom.

Simple stress-busting strategies:

Go for a walk. Seriously, sometimes all you need is a quick change of scenery to move past whatever has you on the verge of panic. Fresh air = less stress.

Talk it out. You may not be feeling exactly(ahem) amourous, but you can still lean on your guy for a little support. Explain to him what has you so wrapped up you can't even think about sex. He might be able to help, plus it will make him feel better knowing that it's not him that's standing in the way of bedroom fun - it's you.

Ditch the tech. Put your phone and laptop away after dinner. Checking work email is just going to increase your stress level, so rather than ruin your night (and his) give yourself a cut off where technology is concerned.

Not enough time

Between work and the gym and cooking and cleaning, who has time for sex? It's a common problem but the key is to make time. The sink full of dishes can wait, as can the pile of laundry. Do yourself a favour and trade housekeeping for something much more fun.

Don't discount the quickie. You've heard it here before and you'll hear it again, but a super-quick romp can actually be a great way to squeeze in sexy time during a busy (and stressful) day.

Lack of intimacy

Just because you don't have time to be all over each other, doesn't mean you can't be intimate in more subtle ways. When stress and hectic schedules take over, a lot of intimate gestures (hugs, back rubs, a hand though his hair) fall by the wayside. Reintroduce the little things – they often lead to bigger things. Here are a few more ways to rev up the intimacy:

  • Send him a loving email or text.
  • Do something you know he'll love, like buy his favorite beer or wine and make his favorite dinner.
  • Do a chore you know he hates.
  • Take him out to dinner or drinks at a place he loves.
  • Suggest watching his favorite sport or better yet, take him to a game.

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