When Breaking Up Makes Sense
We all know the major reasons to breakup with someone: infidelity, no common goals, abuse, loss of interest. But do you really have to wait until one of these biggies happens to call it quits? Wouldn't it be more admirable to take the high road and say goodbye before smaller things build up into one of the majors? Here's a look at some of the less severe but equally legitimate and smart reasons to break up with someone so that you can move toward a more fulfilling relationship.
You should break up if...
You've got someone else on your mind.
Whether it is an ex or a potential crush, thinking intimately about another guy is your heart's way of telling you that you are looking for something you're not getting from your current partner. This could be physical, sexual, intellectual, spiritual or emotional fulfillment, but the bottom line is that your current relationship isn't cutting it.
You spend more time fighting for the relationship than being happy in it.
Disagreements happen, even in the honeymoon period -- but if you are spending most of your time aggravated and trying to "figure things out" instead of enjoying the moment, this is a relationship ripe for reconsideration.
You've tried & tried but…
The 90-day trial period should be easy-breezy, wash n' go, no sweat! If you are forcing any part of it -- perhaps trying to change him or trying to make yourself be cool with something you don't like just to make it work, this is a relationship to rethink. By 90 days, true colors are what they are, and if you are not ok with them as is, this is not the relationship for you.
You'd rather have elective surgery than be single again.
If you're somehow biding your time until something better comes along or you just can't handle a table for one, do yourself and your guy a favor and terminate it. Settling to avoid singledom is pathetic to the max, and you both deserve better.
Check out 50 ways to enjoy being single >>
You feel guilty.
If you already know that your relationship has no long-term potential but you are too afraid to break it off because your guy can't handle being let down, get over your ego -- and quickly. It has only been 90 days. He can handle it! So set him, and your guilt, free.
You do all the work.
Whether you actually put forth all the effort or it just feels that way, a feeling of imbalance will lead to a feeling of resentment, which in turn will lead to a lot more yucky stuff. So quit while you're ahead to save yourself further anguish.
You compare your man to others.
Ever find yourself wishing that your guy were more like your sister's man or that your relationship were more like Brangelina's? This is a big signal of dissatisfaction. Sure, every person and relationship have great things about them as well as their imperfections, but a relationship should evolve in spite of them, not because of them. If you can't love yours as is, it's time to move on.
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