Is The Honeymoon Over?

The 90-day trial period, often known as the honeymoon phase, is marked with dating wonder. This is when the sight of his name on caller ID gives you butterflies, when lavish nights out or cozy nights in seem equally desirable, and when you doodle his name in a heart bubble circa 4th grade. Then one day, you wake up and it has been three months -- which, for some reason, often means it's time to sink or swim. Before you decide whether Mr. McDreamy has staying power beyond the initial ooey gooey phase, ask yourself these 6 questions.

Woman taking quiz

1


How intimately do you know him?

In the beginning, you should have spent as much as time as possible getting to know your guy. If conversations haven't plunged beyond, "Can you pass me my pants, please?" or "I'll have pepperoni on my half," your relationship potential is not good. In the initial months, you're most likely to show interest both physically and emotionally, so with this question, evaluate what you have uncovered about your guy.

Rate your relationship:

Rank how well you know your guy on a scale of 1 to 5:
5 = You know his most embarrassing moment; 1 = You don't even know his middle name.

2How much do you have in common?

While opposites certainly can attract, you want some similarities for the long haul -- particularly in the values department. So think about whether you're on the same page when it comes to morals and standards,what you like to do for fun, how you de-stress and so on. While you don't need to date your carbon copy, having some commonalities is key for longevity.

Rate your relationship:

Rank how similar you and your guy are on a scale of 1 to 5:
5 = You are two of a kind; 1 = You are polar opposites.

3Does your dog like him?

Dogs have better intuition than people and rarely seem to be wrong about a match made in heaven. So, if you have a dog, pay attention to how your pup behaves around your man.

Rate your relationship:

Rank how much your dog digs your dude on a scale of 1 to 5:
5 = Your dog is your man's BFF; 1 = The scent your man leaves behind sends your dog into a howl-fest.
(If you don't have a dog, give yourself a free 5 points, unless he is a dog hater; in that case, give yourself zero points.)

4how is your time between dates?

The way you view your guy and how you interact with him when you are not seeing him can tell a lot about your potential future and whether it will continue to sizzle... or fizzle.

Rate your relationship:

Rank your feelings about your guy during in-between-date time on a scale of 1 to 5:
5 = You are chomping at the bit to see him again, and conversations in between are positive; 1 = You avoid his calls.

5Have you met each other's friends?

Opening the door to your treasure trove of valuable friends is a clear indicator that your Mr. Someone is Mr. Someone Special, and the relationship might have potential. That holds true for a guy, as well.

Rate your relationship:

Score yourself on a scale of 1 to 5:!
Zero = There have been no friend introductions; 2 = You've met a few of each other's friends (roommates don't count!); 5 = You've met a lot of each other's friends.
(Give yourself a bonus point if you've met each other's family members but not if one or both of you live at home).

6Are you your best self?

Relationships with potential bring out your very best self. Think about who you are in this relationship vs who you are outside of it. Are you rising to your best self? Is this relationship helping to make you a better you?

Rate your relationship:

Rank how you feel in this relationship on a scale of 1 to 5:
5 = You feel your best; 1 = You feel depleted.

Now total your score. Keepers are in the 20 to 30 range. And tell us: Did the relationship pass the test?

More dating advice

Is "Boys' Night Out" creating relationship issues?
3 Ways to stop sabotaging your relationships

10 Unbreakable rules for moving in together

Tags: honeymoon phase

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Comments

Comments on "6 Questions at the 3-month dating mark"

Paul February 03, 2014 | 5:58 PM

I scored a 23, but the relationship just ended (my decision). What this article doesn't take into account, and may be one of the most critical indicators of a relationship's potential (in my opinion), is how well (not necessarily how often) you argue. We were not good at arguing AT ALL, and had this been different, I think the relationship would have continued on :(

Fufu January 15, 2014 | 3:12 AM

Scored a 27 even though I feel like we may not make it... :(

Anissa January 06, 2014 | 6:39 PM

Just passed the 3 month mark. Scored a 17 :( I had high hopes for this guy but his communication with me is what bothers me the most. He is HORRIBLE at texting and communicating with me. I'm lucky to get 1 text a day from him. It doesn't seem like a big deal to him but it is to me when we both go to different colleges. Thanks for the tips.

Megan January 01, 2014 | 8:23 PM

ugh I think this is just proving I need to end my 4 month relationship, he doesn't introduce me to his friends, he doesn't even txt or call that much between seeing each other ( he use to txt at lease three times a day now I am lucky to get one), we only see each other 2or3 times a month. I was hoping things would get better but its the same pattern over and over. ;(

Lucia August 19, 2013 | 12:47 PM

For the last couple of weeks ive been thinking about this and a friend told me that there is a 3 month evaluation that a person should conduct on the relationship and I wasn't sure but I came across this website and it sure was helpful. Truly admire your post Sammie. Unfortunately my score was 37 and I was kinda feeling it already.. thx for the tips

Jaclyn July 17, 2013 | 5:08 PM

Just past the 3 month mark on the 13 and past this test with a sweet 24 which isnt bad. i still feel like we are still getting to know each other while being there for one another and caring deeply about each other. which i love, it keeps things fresh and fun!

Lindsay July 11, 2013 | 4:04 PM

Just passed the three month mark. And scored a 28 out of 30. I don't have a dog, but a very dog-like cat, he loves him. Which again, is very un-catlike in the first place. Keeper. All great things to evaluate, sink or swim is right.

Somebody June 07, 2013 | 2:21 PM

I got an awesome 27, the only thing I didn't get a 5 on was the friend part. I haven't met most of his friends but that's because he's still new to Oregon and hasn't met many actual people. We've been dating for 3 and a half months it's good to know it's still really strong. :-D

Gemma March 06, 2013 | 1:06 PM

My boy passes with flying colours. I didn't know him very long b4 we dated but in that 4-5 months we crammed in so much. Then we actually started dating and i know even more now. We are honest. We tell each other everything. To the point where we told each other the other night the things the other person could improve on. My dog loves him and she isn't usually a male friendly dog. And his dog loves me. After reading this I feel even more posative about our relationship

Esme January 27, 2013 | 6:47 PM

My relationship has just about made it to the three month mark, so naturally I had to check this out. So happy, he passes every question with flying colors! Even my dog loves him which astounded me when I read that because my dog shied away from all my previous boyfriends when she first met them but she has always loved my current boyfriend.

Lauren August 21, 2012 | 10:03 AM

It's good to see what you guys have in common. Do you enjoy hanging out with this guy or just talking with each other? If the relationship is purely physical, you might want to back out sooner than later before getting too attached.

Sammie June 12, 2012 | 7:37 AM

I like this article. It's important at three months to decide if you want to give this a go or if it's time to move on. Seriously, as we get older we don't necessarily want to date someone a year or so only to then realize it's not what you want. Decide as soon as possible! Thanks for the tips!

Emma May 01, 2012 | 4:12 PM

These are key questions to ask when evaluating the lasting potential of a relationship. The honeymoon phase is so fun, but relationships are a lot of work and the honeymoon will eventually end. If you can make it, the benefits are huge! But getting there can be tough. The best point was in #2 and making sure morals and values align.

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