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How to put excitement back in your marriage

Kori Ellis is an editor and writer based in San Antonio, TX, where she lives with her husband and four children. At SheKnows, she writes about parenting, fashion, beauty and other lifestyle topics. Additionally, Kori has been published i...

Ways to revive a stale marriage

You don't have to live in a stale marriage. Find ways to add excitement to your relationship and breathe life back into your marriage with these expert tips.

Rollercoaster

Recharge your marriage

Relationship advisor and therapist Dr Terri Orbuch is author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great (Random House). The book is based on a long-term study following the same 373 couples over two decades. The project was funded by the National Institutes of Health. Dr Orbuch has a wealth of relationship knowledge and here she offers advice on how to recharge your stale marriage.

1attentionCatch your partner off-balance

Try anything that flies in the face of your routine. The element of surprise catches your partner off balance, and will refresh and recharge your relationship. You might bring a picnic basket to their work and eat outside, show up at their work and take them to a movie in the middle of the afternoon, or have a candlelight dinner on your porch.

2Recapture excitement through new activities

Doing novel activities with your partner enables you both to re-experience that original emotional state you had when you were newly acquainted. Novelty and excitement were part of your relationship at the beginning. Go deep-sea fishing on a bracing afternoon. Learn to ski with your spouse.

3Seek arousal-producing activities

Several psychology studies show that if you do activities with your partner that produce brain chemicals associated with arousal, this arousal can get transferred to your private, intimate relationship. Scientists say this transferred arousal gets misattributed to your partner. Activities like working out, roller coaster rides or scary movies are all examples of arousal-producing activities.

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