You breeze into the living room, where your husband sits, waiting. He says, "You look beautiful." You smile.
On the drive to the restaurant where you're meeting friends, you fix your lipstick, adjust a curl, think about the evening ahead. Your husband is quiet.
At the restaurant, your husband starts to tell the story of something that happened at work. When he takes a breath, you jump in to tell the rest of the story. After all, you're a much better storyteller than he is.
On the way home, you say of your friend, "The way she glows whenever he says something -- you'd think he was brilliant. He's just an accountant, for Heaven's sake." Your husband mutters, "I wouldn't mind a little glow." You frown, "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing" he replies.
"Nothing" is unfortunately exactly what he means. You are treating your guy like nothing. You take his "You look beautiful" for granted, as your due. You give him a "Yes, I know I'm beautiful" smile instead of giving him your thanks, maybe even an "I love looking nice for you" or perhaps a compliment to him in return.
The drive over is private time for the two of you. Time to share something, be it "Oh, what a lovely night. Look at all the stars!" or "Tell me more about what happened with that fussy client today." You can squeeze lipstick fixing in the middle of a mini-conversation, no problem.
Telling the end of his story for him? What is he, three years old? It's his story! Take a cue from your friend, and listen with admiration, respect, or how about plain old interest? Just because you've heard the story five times already doesn't make it something you can ignore. It's meaningful to him, so let it be meaningful to you.
If you want to be special to him, if you want your relationship to be special, wonderful, fireworks-in-the-sky, then make him special. You both deserve it.
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