Re-read your wedding vows. Rewinding back to the beginning will help you zero in on all of the positive qualities about your husband and your relationship. Then, once you are in this warm, fuzzy space, together set one or two realistic goals that you can work on together. Creating and -- equally importantly -- executing a goal together will significantly fortify your marriage bond, day in and day out.
Stay at the top of your man's mind by sending him flirty little messages as well as the occasional sexy picture from time to time. Outreaches like this help keep the fire between you alive and build anticipation for a potentially hot evening to come. Just be sure you double-check the number before you hit send!
Investing in yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is critical when keeping the love and attraction alive between you and your spouse. When you look and feel your best, inside and out, you present the best version of you, which ultimately contributes to the healthiest possible relationship. Work with your spouse to ensure that both of you are taking the time and putting forth the effort to invest in yourselves individually.
In John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he states that successfully married couples enact repair attempts to manage tough situations. Repair attempts are statements or actions – silly or otherwise – that prevent negativity from escalating out of control. For example, my husband starts speaking in an accent when our fights begin to spiral. They are a relationship's secret weapon because they not only simmer an argument with laughter, but they remind you of the love between you, as opposed to blazing arguments that typically go unresolved and drive the two of you apart.
Whether your sex life is currently hot or not, commit to naughty time 30 days in a row. And don't just stick to your standard routines either: Use this challenge to, well, challenge yourselves. Consider visits to sex shops for toy purchases, thumbing through kama sutra manuals for new position inspiration, experimentating with lotions and potions, watching porn together and more!
The primary motive for straying is not having your needs met in some way. The easiest way to avoid this is to ensure a safe space to express those needs. Simply set aside a time each week devoted to checking in with one another to share wants and needs… and pledge to work together to meet them.
Make verbal and written promises to each other that indicate your commitment to each other, emotionally and physically. Vow to respect each other to the highest of heights, and to address dissatisfaction to each other, not outside the marriage. And finally, on this last day, congratulate each other on your commitment to commitment by celebrating in a big way!