Get Him Back
& Keep Him

You thought he was your soulmate. You were sure you were going to spend the rest of your lives together -- but you broke up, and now you want him back. Follow these tips to get your ex-boyfriend back and keep him this time.

Woman flirting with ex

1Do you really want him back?

Yearning to get back together because we are lonely and hurting after a breakup is common. If some time has passed, carefully weigh if you really want him back. Do you just miss having a boyfriend, or do you miss him in particular? Do you want your ex now just because you can't have him? Don't glamorize your relationship as you look back on it. Was it healthy? Did he (or you) cheat? Is it really going to be any better or different if you get back together?

2Look within.

Once you have decided that you really want him back, it's time to get to work. What made him fall in love with you in the beginning? How have you changed? Have you developed any bad habits? Did you make any critical mistakes? Were you too demanding, insecure or unappreciative? If you changed (in a bad way), you'll need to work on yourself first before you have any chance of getting him back. Feel good about yourself and work through any issues. If you are going to get back together with him, you want to be healthy and baggage free.

3Initiate contact.

If you've remained friends, initiating contact is easy. If you haven't talked to him since the breakup, however, then you'll have to make some effort. Don't text him or leave a message on his Facebook wall. Even in the digital age, face-to-face contact is still best. Do some investigation (don't stalk) and find out where he's going to be. Make plans to "coincidentally" be there at the same time and run into him.

4Keep it simple.

If he is open to conversation, keep it light-hearted and casual. Don't get into the details of the breakup, especially in public. Let him know that you miss his friendship, and remind him of a memory together. By using your shared past to your advantage, you may be able to trigger those old feelings. Keep the conversation short and simple. Invite him to a group event in the near future, and leave it at that: "Some of us are hanging out at Ben's on Friday. You should stop by." His reaction will tell you if he's interested in seeing you again.

5Don't beg.

Crying, whining and begging isn't going to win his affections. You are just going to show him that you are insecure and needy. Men want a confident, strong woman who has her own interests and shares some of his. They don't want a clingy, desperate woman with no life.

6Apologize.

If he's receptive the next time you see him, apologize for the things that you did wrong in your relationship and express your regret. Let him know that you have been working on improving yourself and breaking bad habits. Don't get weepy or sappy. Just apologize, and then move back to more light-hearted conversation. If he wants to talk more about your breakup (or your future), he will.

7Let him know you are interested.

You don't have to blurt out, "I love you and can't live without you" -- but do let him know that you are interested in more than just friendship. Laugh at his jokes. Express interest in his job. Bake him some cookies. Flirt. Do what you need to do to show you are interested in trying again. If he's interested at all, he'll pick up on your signals. Though trying to seduce him may be tempting, falling back into your bed again doesn't mean that he's going to fall back in love with you.

8Accept the breakup.

If he makes it clear that he's not interested in getting back together, accept the breakup with grace. Move on, but keep in touch with him. Continue to work on your own personal happiness. Allow yourself to date others (even if you don't get serious with anyone else). Being strong, confident and happy without him may make you more desirable.

If all else fails...

How to be a happy single

Love coach Carolin Dahlman discusses ways to be a happy with your single status.

More breakup advice

How to exorcise an exI dumped a loser! Real-life storiesBreakup survival: Hopeless to hopeful in 10 days

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Comments on "How to get your ex-boyfriend back"

tracy October 31, 2013 | 7:08 PM

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AMANDA CROOKS October 28, 2013 | 3:39 AM

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carina July 10, 2013 | 2:51 PM

Hi My name is Kenny Carina just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 4 years with 3 kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn't want to loose him but everything just didn't work out… he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster DR OLOKUM, who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and cast a love spell on him. Within 3 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our fourth child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it… You can email him on LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO

Dianna Wilson June 21, 2013 | 7:46 AM

This site is very helpful on how to get him back. Him as my ex boyfriend (hopefully future boyfriend, again) as I have lost him when we both felt that it was not working anymore and I was so young and naive that I thought of just letting him go. I will follow your suggestions and I hope we will be both able to figure out what's best for us.

Danielle June 09, 2013 | 11:12 AM

My boyfriend and I broke up almost a week ago after being together for 1 year and 3 months. I am having a really hard time and feel like I'm getting depressed. We have talked everyday since breaking up and said we'll be friends. But I can't stop thinking about him and every memory we have together. When we talk to each other still in person it's like nothing has changed except the fact that I can't kiss him or touch him. It's hard cause my mom and his mom think we'll get back together and say it's just a break not a break up. We broke up because he was unhappy because when we would argue I would get mean and call him a jerk or a jackass, I'm extremely shy around his family and his mom said I've never thanked them. I feel so bad for doing those things and I told him that I can change that. I will never call him names, and I can become more talkative around his family and I will apologize to his mother. I talked to his mother yesterday and apologized to her and she wasn't even mad. How do I get him back?

cecilia June 06, 2013 | 5:02 AM

it real hurts when you breakup with someone especially to women when there is a kid involved! no body ever planned to raise a baby alone, its always good when both parents are there to take responsibilities for the baby! my question is, what can i do to bring back my men who just left me with a two month old baby? I real need help.....because sometimes I use to think im fine while deep inside its hurting too much...

cindy1 March 19, 2013 | 12:48 PM

My Name is Mrs. cindy menie, am a citizen of Texas USA, i want to testify of what happen to me last week, my husband left me for good two years now, i have been praying and searching for someone to help me bring him back to me, until i meet prophet solution over the Internet who help me prayed and cast spell on my husband, my lost husband came back to me and am happy today my lost husband is back to me as one happy family we use to be as before. this man is specialized in bringing back your ex lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, make you rich, win lotto, solution to any problem. this is a gift from birth to Mr. solution. this man is just to sweet to have and contact him via email: solutionhealingtemple@gmail ......

cindy1 March 19, 2013 | 12:48 PM

My Name is Mrs. cindy menie, am a citizen of Texas USA, i want to testify of what happen to me last week, my husband left me for good two years now, i have been praying and searching for someone to help me bring him back to me, until i meet prophet solution over the Internet who help me prayed and cast spell on my husband, my lost husband came back to me and am happy today my lost husband is back to me as one happy family we use to be as before. this man is specialized in bringing back your ex lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, make you rich, win lotto, solution to any problem. this is a gift from birth to Mr. solution. this man is just to sweet to have and contact him via email: solutionhealingtemple@gmail ......

cindy1 March 19, 2013 | 12:48 PM

My Name is Mrs. cindy menie, am a citizen of Texas USA, i want to testify of what happen to me last week, my husband left me for good two years now, i have been praying and searching for someone to help me bring him back to me, until i meet prophet solution over the Internet who help me prayed and cast spell on my husband, my lost husband came back to me and am happy today my lost husband is back to me as one happy family we use to be as before. this man is specialized in bringing back your ex lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, make you rich, win lotto, solution to any problem. this is a gift from birth to Mr. solution. this man is just to sweet to have and contact him via email: solutionhealingtemple@gmail ......

cindy1 March 19, 2013 | 12:48 PM

My Name is Mrs. cindy menie, am a citizen of Texas USA, i want to testify of what happen to me last week, my husband left me for good two years now, i have been praying and searching for someone to help me bring him back to me, until i meet prophet solution over the Internet who help me prayed and cast spell on my husband, my lost husband came back to me and am happy today my lost husband is back to me as one happy family we use to be as before. this man is specialized in bringing back your ex lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, make you rich, win lotto, solution to any problem. this is a gift from birth to Mr. solution. this man is just to sweet to have and contact him via email: solutionhealingtemple@gmail ......

Broken heart March 17, 2013 | 12:24 AM

Hi I have been dating for 3 years now and a few days ago my boyfriend told me he didn't love me anymore, so we ended things. The only problem is we have moved to a different country together and are still living with each other. We have decided to live together until I finish my course in 6 months time. He seems quite happy about the break up. And I feel heart broken i don't want to give up on us what should I do?! Please help

Kirsten December 19, 2010 | 3:16 PM

This is a great article about ex-boyfriends and ex-loves. Some times it's just time to move on but trying to fix things is always a good idea. However, you shouldn't try to get an ex-boyfriend back if it's just not working out because it's just not worth it.

Cindy December 18, 2010 | 3:02 AM

Thanks really loved my ex-boyfriend but things got complicated.Thank you so much on tips on hoe to get ex-boyfriend back.

ex-boyfriend, get ex-boyfriend back December 17, 2010 | 11:23 PM

give him at least one chance If it was something you have done to drive or push away your ex-boyfriend then you may need to think about whatever mistakes you made that caused the break-up.

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