Change Your
Dating Mindset

Dating can be tough, even downright miserable. If you want to get to happily ever after, you have to find the rainbow in the rain. After all, what guy wants to date a girl with a cloud hanging over her? With these how-tos in mind, you will be smiling from “hello” to “goodnight” and beyond, whether your date ends in a knee-weakening kiss or with a drink in his face.

Woman throwing drink on man

1Recall what's FUN about dating.

Newsflash: Dating isn't all bad; it can be a lot of fun. Stop and recall five things you like about dating. Getting butterflies, shopping for new date outfits, dressing up, savoring first kisses, telling bad-date stories to girlfriends, being wowed by an amazing first date... Come on, you know there are at least a few things you enjoy, so tap into those to avoid dating doldrums.

2Put on your love spectacles.

Chances are if you have a downer attitude about love, it is because deep down, you really really want it. So, start soaking it up all around you. When you see a happy couple making out, envision yourself doing the same. Instead of puking at ads that include messages of love, dream of yourself in one. Get inspired by the love that you see, and imagine the possibilities -- because believing in love makes you more lovable.

3Dating is the ultimate teacher.

Dating is all about the test drive. Whether obvious or hidden, there is always something to be learned about what works for you or doesn't in each and every date. The insight could be small -- like how wearing heels actually does make you look hotter and therefore more confident. Or it may be something large -- like how you need to be with a guy who appreciates fun as much as you do. Extracting that gem of knowledge is worth your time, every time.

4Control your dating weather channel, not the forecast.

Since you can predict the outcome of a date as easily as you can the weather, stop trying. Instead, concentrate on controlling what you can: your attitude about it. Be mindful of your radar and work toward an optimistic setting, knowing that yesterday's dating weather pattern was necessary for today's, and that today's could bring new love opportunities tomorrow.

5Celebrate the mini victories as if they were major homeruns.

Rather than looking only at scoring a boyfriend as a victory, consider improved dating skills a win, too. Celebrate when you flirt like a pro, when you call a new guy, or when you let go of a guy you don't really like. Celebrate a great first or second date. Celebrate handling rejection with a laugh, celebrate a new outfit. Celebrating the little stuff will make the whole process of dating so much more fun!

6Be who you want to date.

Ever dated a guy who's attitude was "All women are greedy b*tches" or "No one is as good as my mom"? Honestly, how bad would that be? Well, that's how you come across when you have a bad dating attitude, one reminiscent of "All the good ones are taken or are gay."

7Remember that There's always the one before the one.

We never know how many dates or relationships it will take or when he will pop up, but if you aren't out there immersed in dating, one thing is for certain: You will never find him. Dating is the only thing that can lead you to your life partner, and that magical date could be the very next one!

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Comments

Comments on "Keep a positive dating attitude"

samuel osteen January 02, 2011 | 6:19 AM

i really liked your article because am learning a lot about relationship, its ups and down thanks a lot

Sam November 24, 2010 | 8:44 AM

Thanks for the article. I am newly single and I DREAD dating. I told myself I would take a year off and just be single which is kind of what I am doing. I am talking to someone but it's more ual at this point than anything else and I am too lazy to date and find the right one so I am putting up with the guy I am talking to. This article gives me hope for when I get back out there that it may not happen tomorrow but the One is out there! :D

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