Using your brain to tame his brawn

Why he likes the whore of Babylon

(...and why you hate her)

We all know that men have sex on the brain. It's called testosterone, and it's extraordinarily powerful. It makes men show up late for work in the mornings and stare hungrily at the girl who looks like the whore of Babylon. It's also why pornography filters are on our office computers.

Let's face it: Monogamous men are heroes, and cheating men are normal. Unless you're a groupie for the legion of superheroes, chances are you'll have to use your wits to prevent being blindsided by his wandering eye.

That means using his nature -- his own biology -- to work for you rather than against you.

His cheating part

So what do we know about the nature of men? Science is reasonably unanimous on the following:

• Males compete with other males for female attention.
• His greatest biological drive is selection by females for the reproduction of his genes.
• He has a strong need to display and provide for females and ensure his offspring are safe.
• Well adorned (and endowed) males are desired by females and envied by male friends.

Your bleeding heart

And what about the nurture of women? What are our expectations of relationships?

• It's okay to cross our legs for weeks at a time if we're "not in the mood."
• If they love us, they wouldn't want to even look at other women (let alone cheat)!
• We are no longer animals; men should be able to control their urges.
• It's okay to stop the diet, waxes, makeup, hairdos and tight-fitting clothes because we're married/mothers/in love.

Unchain your tart

Every woman has an inner huntress. She is the person inside us that constantly compares, contrasts, seeks and finds.

We see examples of skilled huntresses every day: the woman with the short skirt and high heels for whom men fall over themselves to open doors, or the immaculate female work colleague who somehow manages to get a raise during a global financial meltdown.

Women have traditionally quashed their instinctive feminine sensuality to make the men in our lives feel "safe." Our greatest danger, however, lies in their increased sense of security.

A Fresh Start

Project your inner huntress and negotiate some infidelity with him. It doesn't have to be sex with other people -- pornography or flirting might suffice. The important thing is to let a smidge of competition into the relationship (and a smudge if you can). If he gets to watch porn, you get to go out with the girls, buy a new dress or do whatever it is that you want to do.

Don't be too available

The instant you dedicate yourself -- and your time -- to him exclusively is the instant you become less valued.

Sitting at home watching the dinner burn while he's out with his pals won't win you any of his attention. In fact, all you'll get out of the deal is a hissy fit or a booty call to someone who isn't you.

Be popular

It doesn't matter whether you're with your coworkers, siblings or friends -- if you're suddenly not-so-available, he's suddenly going to take more interest. It's common sense when you think about it: If someone is at home 24/7 and another person is only available a couple of evenings a week, which one is he going to make time for?

Make him think you are popular. Hint that you are still desired by other men. Consider him the world's greatest lover (or at least better than 20 minutes on an exercise bike at the gym) and lick those blue balls instead of laughing at them. Be an adornment -- not something he's ashamed to be seen with -- and let him know what a great provider he is.

Loosen the reins a bit

A drunken hookup with his secretary has got everything to do with getting some and nothing to do with you. (Better still, it means you get to kiss the gorgeous Brazilian man at the bar while the BF looks on helplessly.)

If you let yourselves out of your cages, you won't feel the need to escape. As long as you are not completely his, he will covet you forever.

Understanding the dude

SheKnows.com tells you a few secrets your man never will -- and hits the streets to find out what you've always wondered.

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