Gross Male Behavior

Is your man a nose picker? Does he clip his toenails in the living room? If so, sit him down and read this article out loud to help him nip those bad man habits in the bud.

Man scratching his butt

Gross is not sexy (and you want sex, right?)

Men are all over the map on the cleanliness scale. Some are total slobs, while others are neat freaks. But, don't let impeccable grooming and a squeaky clean apartment fool you: Under that perfectly coiffed cut and woodsy scent may lurk a nose-picker, or worse... a rogue toenail clipper.

Disclaimer: When I write stories about men, my husband thinks people will assume they're based on him. So, I would like to clear his name and make it known that he's only guilty of a few of these (not the really gross ones). Luckily, I've actually never lived with serious offenders. My dad has been known to hand-wash the floor while wearing knee pads. My brother wouldn't share the same tube of toothpaste because I didn't squeeze it properly from the bottom.

10 Don'ts for the boys

1

Clipping toenails in the living room

Umm, newsflash, dude: When you clip your toenails, they don't just disappear into some mystical toenail land. Those suckers post-clip are sharp as knives and could easily harm your lady friend, guests and pets. Don't leave them in a pile on the coffee table, either. Organization does not make this less foul. Here's a genius idea: Try a bathroom and a garbage can.

2

The pick-and-flick

Speaking of nasty things being flung around at full speed and "disappearing" — ugh! Tissues: Please get a box!

3

Drooling

No one is drool-proof, especially during cold and flu season. But some guys are just out of control. Learn to use your nose when you breathe — and stay away from the pretty pillows!

4

Leaving beard shavings all over the sink

We know you see those tiny trimmings all over the sides of the sink. It's time to take some responsibility, man!

5

Stink bombs

Some men take pride in having really offensive, faint-inducing gas. Save this "fun" for your college buddies, not cuddle time on the couch. And if you always emit fumes that smell like toxic waste, lay off the milk or see a specialist, puh-lease! (P.S.: Dutch ovens are not funny.)

6

Public scratching

What are the reasons behind the constant scratching and shifting around? Take it down a notch, bud.

7

Smoking

Ahhh, the sweet, irresistible scent of an old ashtray (insert gag sound here). Ladies prefer men with fresh, minty breath, pearly white teeth and a general distaste for lung cancer.

8

Peeing on the toilet seat

Do not blame this on waking up in the middle of the night and being too groggy to see what you're doing. No one's asking you to pee into the opening of a soda can, for goodness sakes. It's a big bowl — just aim straight for the middle. And then put the seat down when you're done, k?

9

Living in squalor

Living in a dump is acceptable when you're a freshman in the dorms. But a grown man with an apartment that smells like a locker room is a major deal breaker. Scrub those dirty dishes, toss your empty pizza box collection and invest in a professional cleaning service ASAP.

10

Talking with your mouth full

Women are all about sharing food on date night, but not when it lands on our faces. Eeew. Remember what you learned in kindergarten. Chew, swallow and then talk!

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Comments

Comments on "10 Totally disgusting man habits"

Aron March 19, 2014 | 3:11 AM

Except for the pissing on the toilet seat, girls have been known to be guilty of these things as well. Regularly in fact. Also I suppose the beard clippings in the sink women are (usually) exempt from, although they leave wads of head hair in the shower drain, or strands on the wall. Not only that, but if you're really concerned about these things then why not just require a personality test before going on a date or something and quit -------- about it as though it's just a guy thing or it bothers everyone equally. I'm on the same side as you, these things listed are gross regardless of gender, but the bottom line is these kinds of lists are stupid. Just as stupid as the lists guys make about things about girls that irk them.

Kenny March 17, 2014 | 12:53 PM

Men - I once dated a girl who became upset that, while putting the toilet seat down, I would always put the lid down as well. She said my job was to put the seat down and that, by putting the lid down as well, I was being passive-aggressive. I told her that I didn't want my dog drinking from the toilet, but she called me a liar when I said that was my reasoning. Needless to say, I got rid of her quickly. I'm still not sure if she was just lazy, crazy, or trying to pick a fight.

CC January 08, 2014 | 12:09 PM

If those things bother you then break it off. I haven't met a man that doesn't do these things. They are gross. God forbid you should fart. So find a guy that can do these things and not turn you off because they all do it.

Wayne King August 31, 2013 | 5:32 PM

Jessica Solloway I never knew women never smoked or did any of the things men do. Do they actually pay you for this rubbish Jessica.

Charlie August 02, 2013 | 12:30 PM

I'm and it because of stuff like this that makes me question why the hell I'm attracted to men in the first place??? Especially the farting---oh my freaking GOD----why are almost all the men in the world so obsessed with their gas habits? Why are they all so immature and so open and non-discreet about that stuff? I don't want to hear, smell, or know when you're about to let one rip or if you just did a big 'dookie in the toilet'. TURN OFF. BIG TURN OFF. Do men just not want to be seen as desirable? They don't deserve to get if this is how they are gonna behave. I'd just like to find a man who is mature and not obsessed with his bodily functions and keeps them to himself.

ThatGuy June 01, 2013 | 11:01 PM

And my four sisters are more disghusting than me they burp fart clip their nails in the living room and my other sister flicks her bogeys half way across the living room and my mum has to use a bloody sander to keep her foot smooth I mean like no morals!

ThatGuy June 01, 2013 | 10:58 PM

Eewww man I don't do hardly any of those the only one I do is the peeing on the seat and even when I'm aiming in the middle the pee would get less strong makeong the distance lower meaning i have to bend over which makes me unstable and annoying. Peeing in the middle is really really hard and since you don't have a penis you wouldn't understand the difficulty of takeing a regular ---- in the morning.

Jason May 07, 2013 | 12:58 PM

You are incorrect; dutch ovens are indeed HILARIOUS.

Stacy October 15, 2012 | 3:08 PM

Hahaha love this! Definitely farts are my husbands worst offense. It's constant. If we're watching TV I have to sit as far away as possible!

Karen Carpenter September 07, 2012 | 6:46 PM

I wouldn't care where my husband cut his nasty long toenails, as long as he cut them!

Patricia May 02, 2011 | 12:51 PM

Farts, farts, farts... I can't get away from them. I've told him to stop drinking milk but he won't. Ugh! BTW,Getting drunk isn't very cute either.

Diana May 02, 2011 | 12:32 PM

LOL this is too funny. We all do all or some of these things: men and women, its human even if its not always cool, nice or of good taste. The first comment was hilarious too. LOL thanks for the good laugh here

Men November 18, 2010 | 2:58 PM

1. Why wouldn't we clip nails sitting on the couch? so long as they are properly disposed of why not be comfortable. 2. No arguements 3. Drool is nautrally occuring when we manage to get a hot wife/girlfriend but we will do our best. 4. We will start cleaning off the sink when you start cleaning your hair out of the drain. 5. Agree when cuddling but otherwise get used to it. (ps Dutch ovens are not funny, they are HILARIOUS) 6. We agree to do our best in public but sometimes things itch and need adjusting. 7. We agree to brush our teeth before bed. other than that get over it and light one yourself as well. 8. After much discussion it was decided that we will raise the seat before and lower both lids after and expect you to do the same with the upper lid. This is a two way street and the correct position for the lid is fully down not just the seat. 9. We agree to tidy up for when we invite you up. If a visit is not planned at least two days prior to the visit this agreement is void. 10. Hey we have to take any chance we get to try to talk while you are catching your breath. We suggest taking a breath after every sentence and if someone else begins to speak waiting until they finish before you begin again. Thanks for the advice, Men

melody August 04, 2010 | 7:58 AM

lol im a woman and i do some of these LMAO!!!!! im kinda ashamed but nat really lol (like the proud loud farts while cuddling, the toenails and smoking)

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