Are You A Cougar?

Men want a woman who is grounded, confident and mature -- but they often can't find that in their own age bracket. On the flip side, women want a man who is ambitious, attentive and attractive. Given those variables, it's only logical that the older woman-younger man relationship can actually work. Here are some ways "cougars" and their "cubs" can make love last.

Demi & Ashton

Cougar pros and cons

With the popularity of cougar dating sites, the prominence of TV shows like Cougar Town, and high-profile couples like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (who manage a 15-year age gap), everyone is talking about the older woman-younger man relationship. Often "cougars" are portrayed as women over 35 who actively pursue younger men for sexual conquests. However, sometimes it's a bit more than that. In fact, many women have found very satisfying relationships with men who are several years their junior.

If you are single and find yourself attracted to men who are much younger, go for it! However before diving in, consider both the benefits and the pitfalls.

The benefits

1Less baggage

The younger a man is, the less "baggage" he carries. If you are dating a man in his 20s rather than his 40s, you probably won't have decades of past relationships and other issues to deal with. You won't have to worry about his ex-wife and children — it will be all about the two of you.


Men in their late 20s/early 30s generally aren't as jaded as those that are older. They are driven by desires rather than constrained by obligations. Being around a younger man may actually help you set and reach your personal goals, because his ambition and energy inspire you.

3Willing to learn

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach a puppy everything he needs to know. In the bedroom and beyond, younger men are more eager and willing to learn -- and it's refreshing to have someone appreciate the value of your life experiences. Additionally, younger men are normally not threatened by a woman's accomplishments -- they actually admire them.


Let's admit it — younger men normally look better than older ones. And physical attraction is a big part of a relationship. Younger men are in shape. They have stamina in the bedroom. And they look fabulous on your arm at a party.

Up next: The pitfalls of being a cougar >>

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Comments on "Older woman, younger man: Benefits and pitfalls"

Jesse December 15, 2013 | 6:10 PM

I would love for an older woman to approach me and talk to me but I do not believe in outside of marriage but I'm not square either.My interests are music,birds,lakes,ocean waves,trees,art galleries and shopping malls.I live alone and I go out on the town if I have nothing better to do at home.

Jana September 10, 2013 | 7:58 AM

...thank you..thank you..for the comments most of all as they are real comments.. I am 35 years old and never ever would have crossed my mind having any kind of relationship with a younger man.. I would normally go for one much more older than me..which now being 35 is getting a bit too old..especially in the bed recent partner 11 years older than me, was having problems ehm..getting it up.. ok fine that's a past now, but I recently met up with my cousin and his friends..which already my cousin is in his 20's so were his friends..and one of them..was trough the night hitting on me? It felt strange at first, I did look at him thinking yes a good looking boy..but not ual, I have two I have some reserve..but he would not stop..and there was something..still is there is a spark.. but I feel like I am sick? Am I or is it ok for me to give it a go? We are talking on the phone, texting etc. I am still making a fun out of it,but on the other hand I do find him very ually attractive..and we might be going out and who knows what will happen afterwords..we know each other for 3months now..but we talk, meet up..nothing else.. I think from my part of I find it strange..but he is very attendive to me..broke up with his girlfriend and is very much pushing from his site.. it is just me who feels a bit stupid and him always telling me not to count the years.. so I am going out with him for dinner next week..we are taking a day away.. I want to but still feeling stupid doing so.. I only gave him one kiss once.. normally I would be all over the guy having already..but this time is different.. well we do tease each other with photos..but that is all.. So do you think I should go all the way?

C.Ant July 05, 2012 | 6:23 AM

I'm in a ual relationship with a young man 22 yr younger.He just what need he's there to meet my ual need and his ok with doing that 3yr

J. Dickson April 17, 2011 | 8:39 AM

It works if you want it to. My wife and I been married 43 years. She is now 74 and I am now 62

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