Why Men Cheat On Successful Women

Jesse James isn't exactly Sandra Bullock material. Most of us knew that, even before inked-up stripper Michelle 'Bombshell McGee' started gushing about her 11-month affair with the 'Vanilla Gorilla.' But that begs the question: Why would he trade beautiful, rich, sweet, talented Sandra for trashy, tatted, Nazi-loving (and let's face it) fugly Michelle? More importantly, why do men cheat on successful women? Here, our guest columnist, Dr. Dennis Lin, a sex therapist and psychiatrist at Beth Israel Medical Center in Manhattan, gives us the deets.

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So how do you spot a cheater?

For the majority of women who are not actresses or Oscar winners but who are concerned that their men may be cheating on them, how do you spot a cheater? Here are five signs for to be on the lookout for:


Unemployment puts strain on a marriage and can make a man feel vulnerable, especially if the job was important to him and defined his identity. When a man doesn't feel so good about himself, he may boost his self-esteem through an affair.


You're watching TV; he's on the computer. You go to bed; he stays up late. You're in the same house but not really together. If a man is organizing his life to spend less time with you, it doesn't really matter whether he has met someone. Such behavior signals a distance that becomes a breeding ground for infidelity.


Perhaps he doesn't cuddle with you in bed anymore. Or he comes to bed fully dressed when he once slept nude. These are all ways of disconnecting and may indicate he is getting his intimacy somewhere else.


Check his computer's browser history once in a while to see where he's been. A new and secretive email account would be a red flag. A new email account doesn't necessarily mean your significant other is having an affair; but it becomes more likely if he is not willing to share the content of the account with you.


Lastly, beware of new cell phone habits. For example, he suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock. Or perhaps now he keeps his cell phone in his pocket when in the past he would leave it on the counter. Or maybe he used to make calls and send texts while you were around, but now excuses himself each time the phone rings.

For more tips on spotting a cheater:

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Comments on "60 Percent of married men have pulled a Jesse James"

Stacy July 24, 2012 | 1:13 PM

It really makes me sad to know that 60% of men have cheated. If when people were unhappy they started looking within their own relationship and at themselves, instead of turning to others for "quick fixes," a lot of marriages would be fine. You have to fix what's broken, not destroy it even more.

Peter July 28, 2010 | 6:39 PM

addiction is a fictitious illness. Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive so the fundamental economics of biology indicate that men have little to lose by mating promiscuously whereas women need to be picky because the cost of child-rearing is high. Women, however, often use the strategy of finding a wealthy husband but cheating with the stud from across the street. We're a semi-monogamous species. It's ridiculous - and totally unsupported by any data - to state that addiction progresses to other forms of addiction. This is a silly article with no basis in fact.

MaryAnne April 15, 2010 | 11:32 AM

Well, of COURSE they have..for two main reasons... 1-THEIR argument (nowadays anyway)...is we are men, we are SUPPOSE to and 2-really look in the mirror...I mean, no matter what your husband says, look in the mirror...he will tell YOU one thing as he tells his friends or even thinks, something different. Have you nagged, argued, made him feel less than....if you are guilty of ANY of these, it gives him that seed in his head to jump on that bandwagon. We are ALL guilty of it, ALL...there isnt one woman excluded and unless you have so called, TRAINED your husband (which you are just fooling yourself if you think this way), YOU, no one else...gives him that push. Think about it...

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