Loserville: Population, 5
Dating involves a series of stressful questions. Who will pay? What should I do if he doesn't look like his profile picture? When can I get in touch post-date? Most dating questions don't have definitive answers, either, but if your question is, "Should I go out with him again?" here are some clues that can take the guesswork out of your answer. If the guy fits into any of the below categories, just say no. Trust us.
The text message only guy
You call, he texts back. You call again, he texts back again. You call as soon as he sends a text, so you know he's by his phone... but he doesn't pick up and then texts "What's up?" The real question is, what's up with him? Texting is a perfectly acceptable method of communication; however, if you're noticing that he only texts and is never able to talk on the phone, something's fishy. Talk about it before you ditch him, though. If he has a valid explanation (such as, he's working at a death rock concert hall where it's too loud to chat on the phone), then continue on. If he offers more "ums" than actual reasons, we say move on.
The here's the difference between men and women guy
You're at the Pastatorium, not a stand-up club. Why is he going off on this shtick? A guy who feels so strongly about men being a certain way and women being the complete opposite makes us think he won't respect you and will write off any time you're upset as "lady hormones. " Plus, this black and white attitude probably means he's not the king of compromise, which isn't a promising sign of a healthy relationship.
The we're all white here guy
He leans in, says something incredibly bigoted, and then, when you flash a face of disgust, he looks around the restaurant and says, "What's the big deal? We're all white here."
This guy is closed-minded and, despite starting most sentences with "I'm not a racist, but, " he is a total racist. He's bound to offend all of your friends and force you to spend most of your evenings apologizing on his behalf if you continue to date him.
The another round of shots guy
Sure, this guy is fun at first, but offering to buy another round of shots whenever there's a lull in conversation can get sloppy quickly. Plus, another round of Jägermeister isn't always appropriate. Imagine introducing him to your grandparents.
The ex-hating guy
Everyone has something nasty to say about his ex, but some guys take the ex-bashing a little too far and do it a little too frequently. Even though all of the things he's saying about his ex are terrible, it still means that he's thinking about her a ton. If he's with you, no other woman should be on his mind that much. Plus, if you get serious with him and then break up, what awful details about you will he share with anybody who will listen?
Taking preventative measures
Steering clear of these guys isn't going to keep you completely catastrophe-free in your dating life, but at least it'll prevent some major disasters. There will still be those guys who manage to catch you off guard, though: Like the Uses Flower Urns as Urinals at Your Cousin's Bat Mitzvah Guy.
You never know about him until it's too late.
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