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De-stress for amazing sex: The Best Sex of Your Life

Jennifer Hunt and Dan Baritchi are the founders and senior editors of AskDanandJennifer.com, which has become the premier website about relationships and sexuality on the internet. The site has more than 400,000 readers per month, with a...

Calm down before you get down

Stress isn't something you can hang up at the door with your coat and hat. But taking steps to peel off those layers from the day can have a huge impact on the quality of your nookie. Check out this excerpt from our new book, SheKnows.com Presents: The Best Sex of Your Life for tips to help you de-stress and get yourself ready for some amazing sex.

Stress is the biggest enemy of your health—especially your sexual health. Job stress, financial stress, life stress (feeling overwhelmed), and especially relationship stress can all cause negative affects to your health and reduce your libido. After all, it's hard to get in the mood if you can't stop your mind from thinking about that report you need to finish at work or whether you need to schedule a babysitter for Saturday night. There's no reason to live with stress. So, here are five easy ways to reduce your stress levels — and lift your libido — in just fifteen minutes or less:

1. Meditate/Breathe

Breathe deeply. It seems in our busy, hectic society we have forgotten how to breathe. Spend 5-10 minutes just breathing. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and breathe with your diaphragm.

  • Inhale as deeply as you can (your stomach should expand if you're doing this correctly) for a slow count of 8-16. Completely fill your lungs, starting from the top and expanding deep into your chest.
  • Hold your breath for 4–8 counts.
  • Exhale slowly starting from the bottom of your lungs and working to the top for 8–16 counts.
  • Hold your empty lungs for 4–8 counts.
  • Repeat at least 10 times.

2. Take a Walk

Whether your stress is work-related or you're fighting with your partner, politely excuse yourself and talk a brisk walk around the block (or the parking lot).

3. Enjoy a Cup of Tea

Make yourself a soothing cup of your favorite tea. Caffeine-free, herbal tea is best for relaxation, but the most important thing is that you enjoy the tea and the experience. Breathe in the aroma and slowly sip the tea, be in the moment and focus on relaxing.

4. Stretch

Get up and stretch! Start from your head and work all the way down your body.

  • Roll your neck slowly from side to side.
  • Roll your shoulders to the front and to the back.
  • Reach up as high as you can and lift up onto your toes.
  • Come down and bend over slowly letting your hands hang toward the ground. Don't worry about reaching the floor, just relax and breathe deeply (in and out) several times.
  • Roll up slowly and reach for the sky. Repeat this reaching and bending sequence several times until you feel relaxed.

 5. Get a Massage

While an hour massage is preferred, getting a fifteen minute chair massage is far better than nothing!

Buy the book

The Best Sex of Your Life will hit bookstore shelves nationwide in spring 2010. Don't miss out! Reserve yours by pre-ordering today or contact SheKnows for more information.

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