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10 Embarrassing sex questions

Sarah Kelsey is a lifestyle writer, editor and spokesperson based in Toronto. She was the editor of AOL/The Huffington Post Canada’s StyleList, Style and Living sites. Today, she's a freelancer writing for some of North America’s top pub...

Sex questions answered

Talking sex, especially when it involves health issues, can be embarrassing — especially when it's in front of a 50-year-old, bespectacled doctor holding a tube of lube and a speculum. Here are some of the burning (no pun intended) and most embarrassing sex questions most people are too afraid to ask, along with their answers.

Sex questions answered


Why do some men need several hours to recuperate after sex, but it only takes me, like, five minutes?

The difference is in the hormones that course through the veins of a man and woman during sex. When a man reaches orgasm, his pituitary gland releases a concoction of chemicals that make "getting it up" right after ejaculation difficult. The major chemical to blame is prolactin. Responsible for providing that feeling of sexual satisfaction, it also forces a guy to wait before going another round. Research shows men with lower prolactin levels have faster recovery times. Women, naturally, have lower levels than most men.


Sometimes my partner has trouble, um, finishing. What's going on?

If your man has trouble climaxing, several things could be to blame. Your partner's mind could be wandering elsewhere. Maybe he's distracted or is stressed about work. Then again, maybe he's feeling self-conscious about not satisfying your needs in bed. If you suspect this may be the case, talk to him, pre-coitus, about ways to relax.

A more serious reason he may not be able to finish is something called "retarded ejaculation." In this instance, a man may have no problem getting aroused, but staying that way and reaching orgasm is exceptionally difficult. This kind of problem has been linked to a number of nerve-related conditions like diabetes, nerve damage, prostate disease and the use of alcohol and drugs. In this instance, your partner should speak to his family physician about treatment options.


I bleed a little bit after sex. Should I be worried?

Post-coital bleeding can happen for several reasons. If you're a virgin, bleeding may happen because the hymen, a very thin piece of skin-like tissue that stretches across the opening of the vagina, breaks or tears. This is normal. If, however, you've been sexually active for a while, bleeding after sex may be a sign that you've contracted a sexually transmitted disease (for example, chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.) or that a more serious health problem may be affecting your uterus (such as endometriosis, polyps, fibroids or a yeast infection). Either way, if you start spotting post-sex, see your doctor immediately.


My partner wants to try anal sex, but I'm worried about the effects it will have on my derriere. Is it safe?

Bum play is a completely normal part of a sexual relationship. Research shows that the nerve endings in the anus and rectum can stimulate orgasm and increase sexual pleasure. If done properly, anal sex should not affect your derriere in a negative way. Some things to remember:

  • Start slowly: The anus is very sensitive, so it's important to take the time to explore the region with your partner (using his or her fingers and/or small sex toys) before jumping into anal intercourse. Not only will this make you feel more comfortable, but it will also give you an idea of the pressure and sensations you enjoy or dislike.
  • Stop if you feel pain: Pain during anal intercourse is a sign that something's not quite right.
  • Play safe: Keep the area clean (it's rife with bacteria) and always use a condom. And never, ever put anything from the anus into the vagina; the bacteria could cause an infection. Wash the area thoroughly after sex, and use plenty of lubrication to make penetration easier.

I get very "wet" during sex. Am I normal?

While it may be embarrassing to get so wet down there, you're actually very lucky to be able to self-lubricate during sex (many women have the opposite problem). That said, you may experience increased levels of fluid during intercourse due to the use of birth control pills, time in your monthly menstrual cycle or the fact that you're super aroused (something of which your partner should be proud).

More sex advice

10 Embarrassing sexual health questions answered
The best sex of your life: Four tips to improve your sex life
27 Things every woman should know about sex

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