Time To
Move On?

The powerful maxim, 'He's just not that into you,' has exploded over the past 10 years from a cute line on Sex and the City to a book... to a movie. Why is there so much hype around this simple, seemingly obvious statement? Because so many women still don't get it!

Ladies, before you start pining over phantom phone calls and missed dates, consider these hilarious tips from author Phil Torcivia. The divorced bachelor, who penned the wildly funny Such a Nice Guy, has a thing or two to say about why he might not be returning your affections.

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Woman nagging husband

6You nag... a lot

 

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it's no longer a reminder, it's nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

7He's a slob and you're neat, or vice-versa

You don't realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

8You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

9You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

10You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It's not so bad. Don't be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it -- he's just not that into you.

To buy Torcivia's book, Such a Nice Guy, a collection of essays about love, lust and dating on the West Coast, click here or go to Amazon.com.

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Comments

Comments on "10 Reasons why he's just not that into you"

Becki Herman May 21, 2013 | 10:05 AM

Absolutely hilarious but true! If I were a man and my woman kept slacking off and nagging me I would move on too!

Audrey October 09, 2012 | 11:34 AM

These were pretty funny, partially because they're true! But in the end if he really cares none of that will matter!

Michelle June 08, 2012 | 5:42 PM

These reasons are valid for sure, but truth be told if a guy is into you he will put up with a lot. Going to the mall or church with someone he really likes won't make him dump you. Plus, if a guy dumps you because of these reasons, be glad he didn't string you along further! Who wants to seriously date a man who's friends talked him into leaving you anyways??

Britt May 17, 2012 | 2:02 PM

These are pretty harsh reasons, especially Alek's comment with number 11! There can be so many reasons why he isn't in to you. But are you really in to him either? If these superficial reasons make him want to leave, you should really focus on if that is even the type of guy you want. Then move on and find someone better!

alek December 23, 2010 | 11:09 AM

All good reasons... and as friend who sent me this article says: Reason 11 - You gained weight.

Arnold Aryee Fry September 07, 2010 | 9:02 AM

Arroma

richard May 12, 2010 | 3:25 AM

i went one supper fikar

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