We Hate Cupid

Joy and rapture: It's Valentine's Day. Like a milestone birthday and a dentist appointment all wrapped up into one, Valentine's Day is pretty much the most evil holiday ever to go commercial. We're not surprised it's connected to a massacre. Read on for the top 10 reasons we despise everything and anything attached to Cupid!

Angry couple on Valentine's day

1

Men are children

They are unable to handle the "pressure" of Valentine's Day, and thus resent you for expecting a present, a date, a phone call or actually anything at all.

2

Peer pressure

There's no pleasing your friends. If your boyfriend gives you a lame gift (i.e. drugstore roses or heart-shaped chocolates), they'll tease you. If he gives you nothing, they'll tell you you are in a go-nowhere relationship. And if you get a great gift, clearly he has something to hide!

3

Home alone

Raise your hand if you've pretended to have a date just to avoid the fate of going out with a bunch of single women and getting trashed in celebration of your "independence".

4

Get fat

Let's face it: Single or no, this is a really unhealthy holiday. A month after you've pledged to lose the Christmas weight, you are faced with excessive chocolate consumption.

5

The good friend

As if you don't feel bad enough about having had no one to kiss on New Year's Eve, now you will have a new opportunity to listen to best friends and loved ones coo about getting engaged while you pretend to be interested -- really, you just want a bottle of tequila.

6

Pity gift

The only thing worse than no date and no presents is when your mom sends you a bouquet of flowers. Do you lie about who it's from or tell the truth? Try to figure out which is the less sad option.

7

Drunk dials

You may want to hide your phone. Suddenly, checking in with old boyfriends who are now married but couldn't commit to you may sound like a wise idea.

8

It's a lie

Feb. 14 is actually the feast day of Saint Valentine, who is the real reason for the observation. It's also the anniversary of a bloody massacre! Neither of these occasions necessitate hearts and flowers.

9

Crappy music

We love a good ballad just as much as everyone else, but the week before Valentine's Day you are pretty much forced to steer clear of the radio. All you will hear are sappy love songs, which are not good for your psyche when you are already engaging in the mental countdown to hell. The result? Even your commute routine is ruined by this ridiculous holiday.

10

Stupid cupid

Take a moment to consider folklore. Cupid was essentially a streaker man-child who used poisoned arrows to create "Eros". Nowadays, we would call him a frat boy and arrest him for slipping girls roofies. Gross.

More on Valentine's Day

How to throw a Valentine's Day party for singles
Single gal's guide to a sweet Valentine's Day
32 Ways to beat the Valentine's Day blues

Tags: cupid sucks

Recommended for you

Comments

Comments on "10 Reasons why Valentine's Day sucks"

crappytime February 15, 2014 | 11:50 AM

Didn't even get a card from my husband. Don't ever expect much but a card would have been nice. Feeling down and totally over everything.

Hurt February 14, 2014 | 4:14 PM

So I have a valentines..but he isn't just into it. In which hurts me. I understand hes been a little busy lately but so have I. And now that were home were in seperate rooms. "I" had to say Happy Valentines first. I didn't get an aww baby I love you and happy vday..so on so so. But no, I got the not really a hug or kiss and him in a bad --- mood! Like,seriously? Been together going on a year and our FIRST valentines! Im not ashamed to admit that I cried, Im hurt that bad. Idk this is adding to others thats going on..thinking about walking away. Yeah it'll hurt but in the long run he wouldn't really miss me. I was already told :( It'd be onto my best friend kinda thing. ------- sucks! To think, I really do love and care about him!! But, you can't live on love alone. I now understand the true meaning of that. And well, im tired of fighting for something that I'll never get

married 21 years February 14, 2014 | 3:18 PM

Spoiled rotten, you need to lower your expectations. Valentine's day sucks and men, especially the married ones, suck at it. Welcome to the human race.

me man February 14, 2014 | 3:04 AM

Men are children? Women are ridiculous idiots expecting forced shows of emotion. Grow up you -----.

MEEEE!!!!!! February 13, 2014 | 6:11 PM

It sucks! I'm alone on Valentines day!!!!

Claudia February 10, 2014 | 5:55 AM

I'm worse than the Grinch when it comes to Valentine's Day. My ex-boyfriend was surprised I wasn't interested at all in having a romantic dinner fighting for a seat with all the other couples, with sappy music and going to the cinema to watch generic romantic movie #4256. No thanks. I didn't even ASKED for a gift and I got red roses (hate them) but out of courtesy I accepted them. The funny thing is that he got mad at me for not being excited to celebrate Valentine's. I strongly believe that if you love someone, you love him or her all the 365 days of the year, not just one day. Valentine's Day is just another mercantile holiday. Now that I'm single, I guess I'll go home and avoid going out.

Mike February 04, 2014 | 6:42 AM

This Valentine's Day, 2014, I am going to prove that women suck with reasons you wouldn't believe. We drink men are getting stupid friends a home. Children hate cupid, and good pity is pressuring crappy peers. Dial a lie, fatty?

rigby February 13, 2013 | 1:09 PM

Feb 14th, a day to spend the evening on the couch with a bottle of Jack and a German Shepherd dog watching documentaries on TV about the St. Valentines day massacre.

unknown February 09, 2013 | 8:25 AM

Yeah Valentines day sucks. I swear, I look at everyone and they all have somebody. I think the only way a woman would ever notice me was if I was rich like crazy! but who wants a woman who only wants you for their money. This holiday can just go away. Im going to spend it by taking a loooong walk as I am one of the unlucky ones out there I guess.

Psychodelia February 07, 2013 | 2:44 AM

Hi, Only found this site today and to Marcy who posted a year ago, I hope that things are somewhat better for you. To lose your soulmate and then your son. You poor darling. 2 devastating blows. I lost the love of my life 5 years ago too, but unlike you, it was my bloody stupidity, he is still in the land of the living with another lady love and I feel I will never be over it. Never loved another man before or since. How I miss his arms around me and the simple things, like chatting in bed. A pox on this crappy holiday.

whoicantbe February 14, 2012 | 6:12 PM

Yup, Valentines sucks, he doesn't give me, txt me, call me, or anthing for the entire day, but yeah as soon as he got home, he accused me of receiving gifts from someone else, but of course he must be accussing me for what he would've loved to give me and most likely gave to someone else, really my feet are well placed on earth.

JimJones@trashmail.net February 14, 2012 | 11:48 AM

I was just reading a couple of articles about the wrong cards & gifts to give. WTF??? For guys, this is just another way for us to fail at pleasing you! For girls, this is just another reason for you to be frustrated with us! As for me, I refuse to get involved in the whole thing. Any woman that is with me, knows that valentine's day ain't my thang!

Chris February 14, 2012 | 8:41 AM

Aside from 10 the list is funny

Broken Corazon February 14, 2012 | 3:19 AM

I used to like valentines day. Until i dated my Ex. Who insisted in never celebrating it. I lasted w/that jerk for 5 yrs. Now i have a new boyfriend. We've been together for 1yr. I have to say i am not happy in this relationship. We fought right before xmas and right before new years, and now we fought right before valentines. I dont expect anything on this day this year. He asked me if we could celebrate tomorrow, instead of today. I told him, i didnt even think he was planning on celebrating it. How can i celebrate the day of LOVE when i am not feeling it... :(

MikeJones February 13, 2012 | 3:31 PM

not to pour salt in the wounds of you ladies, but singles guys know that this is one of your most vulnerable days. so my friends and i would go out to bars, restaurants, clubs, etc. like scavenger birds looking for the easy prey. it's guaranteed that each of us will indeed get some lovin on "V-Day", which as you might imagine, had an entirely different meaning for us!

Cinnic February 12, 2012 | 10:51 AM

The long and short of it is that I've got kids, no friends, not family near by and no partner. I get 1 day every 2 weeks to myself - not enought time to even consider looking for someone to love, let alone, if I found someone - my kids would be back from their Dad's and I would not have any free time for the next 2 weeks. Valentines Day is the one day of the year that I feel rejected just by the fact that my life doesn't support having time to even attempt to meet someone - it can go to hell.

bobbi February 11, 2012 | 11:16 AM

i agree completely this holiday from hell only brings every one down in one way or another especially if you have family who've died on this beloved holiday (rolls eyes) i hate this day and normally cut myself out of the gossip for one day. screw valentines day and its its cliche meanings.

HighSchoolValentinesDayHater February 05, 2012 | 9:38 PM

YoU are completely right on every aspect of this. I would like to add a thought. that if you are dating someone it just puts pressure on the relationship which feels crappy on both ends, and if your not dating anyone then you feel like crap do you want to consume an entire gallon of ice cream which will be salty from your tears. So just one more reason dumbest holiday ever celebrated by the masses. We are very stupid love crazy people.

FREEMAN August 25, 2011 | 3:47 PM

LOL.Immature, selfish, ually liberated members of the women's liberation movement and their "holiday".ME ME ME and MY FEELINGS.LMAO!!!!!!!!

JettyStoned February 14, 2011 | 10:35 PM

All we need is a little redemption from love. http://the-chronicon.blogspot/2011/02/love-is-all-you-need.html

+ Add Comment


(required - not published)