It's one thing to date someone for fun, but another when you're looking to find The One. If you're single, there are several qualities you should expect your potential lifelong beau to have, and if you're taken, you owe it yourself to look for and cultivate these same qualities in the way you and your partner relate. Though we each have our own personal taste regarding a mate, some qualities are simply universal in lasting, solid relationships.
First, your guy must have a career that you respect and vice versa. It doesn't matter so much what that career might be -- one woman may feel good about marrying a lawyer while another might prefer partnering with a musician. Either way, the thing to keep in mind is that whatever your man has chosen as his life's work, it's going to be something with a particular set of demands, trials and triumphs. The two of you will both be subject to these demands, trials and triumphs once you commit to one another. Remember, in a sense, one person in a marriage doesn't have a career --both people do!
Another signpost he might be The One for you is your sexual relationship. Let's face it: a lot of us have issues surrounding sex, but whether your sex life is effortless or involves some work, you need to feel chemistry, attraction and a mutual desire to keep it alive. Sex is the part of your romantic relationship that makes it different from all the other types of relationships you have with any of the other people in your life -- co-workers, friends, etc. That makes it a really unique connection between the two of you and therefore something that absolutely needs to be nurtured.
If he's really The One, you and your potential mate will find you share certain tastes. You may have your differences, sure: he likes football -- you like shopping. No biggie. But there should be a lot of lifestyle preferences you share. For instance, you may both enjoy going to the theatre, but prefer a night out socializing with friends. You may share the same taste in home décor, music or food. Whatever you do on a regular basis though, it should be something your partner at least agrees with and enjoys. Otherwise, there'll be countless arguments ranging from the most trivial domestic decisions to how you might spend a Saturday night. Definitely a drag on intimacy!
Finally, one of the most important things you should agree on before getting engaged are some of the particulars surrounding having a family. Now, you may not be on the same timeline, but you should at least agree on whether or not you want children and on roughly how many. If you don't see eye to eye on this, it could be a real deal breaker later on in the relationship and things could end badly. It's true -- finding the perfect husband -- The One -- can be a long, tough path. However, being alone is ultimately just as hard, if not harder, than going through the struggles and strains of figuring out how to make a relationship work! Now, we all hit rough patches with our romantic partners. But it's the way we work through those hard times that ultimately defines and predicts our ability to grow together and enter into a fulfilling marriage.
Above all, you need to keep your eyes open and make sure you're not blinded by infatuation or preconceived notions about the man you're with so that when you do walk down the aisle, you'll know with your entire being that he really is The One.
For more information on Dr. Batshaw, or to take the relationship quiz, please visit www.the51things.com
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