When To Say 'I Don't'

If both your hearts are in the right place, marriage can add tremendous happiness and value to your life. However, many people opt to get married for the wrong reasons. Below are seven scenarios where you should say "I don't."

You Happen to Be in Las Vegas

Although the saying might be, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," unfortunately when it comes to spur-of-the-moment weddings, the after-effects of being legally married travel back home with you. Just ask Britney Spears.

You Want to Help a Friend Get His Citizenship

It may sound like a nice thing to do, but marrying a friend (or a stranger) to help him obtain U.S. citizenship has really scary consequences. Even if you don't get caught and go to jail, if your hubby at any point has to go on welfare, even if it's 10 years later and you're divorced, guess who will be in charge of paying his bills? Here's a clue: it won't be the government.

All of Your Friends Are Getting Married

From ages 25 to 30, it seems like everyone on the planet gets married and if you're still waiting in line to catch your own bouquet, attending countless weddings is not only frustrating, it can make you feel left out. Try to remember though that rhetorical question your grandmother so wisely asked you at a young age: "If everyone decided to jump off a cliff, would you do it too?"

You're Getting Close to 30 (or 40, 50, etc.)

The loud ticking of a woman's biological clock has no doubt influenced many women to get married. However, life is not a game of Musical Chairs and planning to settling down with someone just because you're getting older is a recipe for marital disaster. 

You Want Someone to Support You

Credit cards, student loans, badly paying entry-level jobs, there are a million reasons for cash flow problems these days. However, rushing into marriage with someone only because he's financially stable is not a good idea. Just because he's Mr. Moneybags, doesn't mean he's not also a jerk.

Because rewards only come with risk

If you're so unsure enough about the idea of getting married that you mainly think of it as a risk, you absolutely should wait. Of course, a little faith is necessary in all relationships, but it's also vital that you feel a lot of confidence and comfort with your partner before you swap vows. If you're feeling unsure now, those emotions will likely only be amplified once you've sign that marriage contract.

You're Pregnant

Unexpectedly pregnant can be a scary situation to find yourself in. Luckily, thanks to celebrities, there's no longer a stigma to raising children without getting married. If you and your partner are not ready, then it's better to keep dating and not rush into anything while raising your child. What's most important is that the baby is raised by two loving parents, regardless of whether you're married or not. After all, getting married prematurely won't make getting pregnant prematurely any easier.

You're Wacky in Love

Being in love is a beautiful thing, don't get us wrong. However, just because you're in love doesn't necessarily mean you have to get married. Besides love, a lot of other factors are important to consider when deciding whether to take that next step. Are you both financially secure? Do you agree on vital life issues, like where to live and whether you want kids or not? Have you been together for more than nine months? These questions are all important to consider, too.

What's your reason for not getting married? Share your thoughts with everyone in the comment box below!

 

More relationship advice on SheKnows:

What is the right age to get married?
The recession's impact on your sex life

Tags: getting married

Recommended for you

Comments

Comments on "8 Bad reasons to get married"

Victor Ola January 16, 2010 | 3:43 AM

Infact,you 've said it all;all i 've to say is the said comment are alright

msny December 09, 2009 | 6:19 AM

I'm in a loveless/less marriage and don't leave because of financial reasons. If I could leave I would right now. Married because I was getting close to 30 and wanted to have children. Now 30+ years later I'm miserable.

kira December 09, 2009 | 4:15 AM

Reason no. 6 is missing.

Kira December 09, 2009 | 4:15 AM

What's comment no. 6?

MJ December 08, 2009 | 5:35 PM

I'm 23 and I'm getting married next month.. My boyfriend is just awesome.. He's the man of my dreams.. I think the reason you gave us to not to get married are a good thing.. but I have to say that most of the people who don't wanna get married are scared of thinking that they will have to be together FOREVER... I dont think you have to be 30, 40 or 50 to spend your life with another person.. the most important thing is that you have to be sure of what you are doing, be commited to the other person and the mosth important for me and my own relationship is that God is in the middle of us. I will looooooooooooooooooooooooooove my cute husband forever...

shaun December 08, 2009 | 3:11 PM

i'm 32and still single.i'm in love and i do everything a husband does but we are not married yet.i think i need more time to settle in this relationship and get to know the real reason of me and my partner being togather.she is very nice but we have our issues.everyone has a weak point.i need to discover that and get to know how to handle it than i'll marry.thanx

zibbs December 08, 2009 | 11:39 AM

Just know that no one is holding a gun for u to get married and that u dont marry for the community,yr friends or relatives. Marriage is gud but not an antidote for loneliness,there are responsibilities and real work to do.

Joni Signor December 08, 2009 | 11:01 AM

Marrage is some thing not to enter lightly. Its a comment. If its because of passion ! this might really be wrong ! There is a differance between loving some one as to being in love with some one. theres alot of likes an dislikes. I'm afrad that if I had found true love again that i would half to give that person up for some stupid reason like he told me a white lie to protect me...

BJ December 08, 2009 | 10:56 AM

Well, everyone has their various reasons why they should get married or not. But i tell everyone here, marriage is a good thing. You take out from marriage what you put into it. If you sow a seed of santity and faithfulness without no doubts you will reap the same in return. No one wants what is bad, besides, marriage is not for boys but for men. Boys in this aspect are those without vision towards marriage. As a matter of fact, you get out from marriage as far as your eyes can see. What you see is what you can get, what you don't see, you can't get at it. As Ms Brown said, many has "alterior motive", that is they come in through the window, they are thieves. I tell you, marriage is a good thing. I personally have suffered a disappointment in relationship but my perspective towards marriage never changes.

lovymaii December 08, 2009 | 10:14 AM

my reasons to not get married is because marrige to me is like a stage you in and like other have mention there is no one being faithful now in days is just cheating and having fun but like my mom once told me "you dont need to get married just to be together with your love one because marriege is nothing but a name"

pilipina December 08, 2009 | 9:59 AM

we've been together now for almost four years and I dont want yet to be married maybe its because iam still doubting about so many things eventhough... he changed a lot for good .And besides one of my auntie that i respect a lot is against with him so that's why .For the moment just enjoying each others company and nothing to hurry .The best is yet to come..;.

Tim December 08, 2009 | 9:37 AM

dont get married if you are dying! its too detrimental and cruel to every one else but you!

Ms, Brown December 08, 2009 | 8:22 AM

My reasons for not getting married is because the sanitity if marriage is no longer what it used to be. Everyone is cheating and not being honest and everyone seems to have an alterior motive! Weather its control of the finances, good benefits and more money or just for selfish reasons. t's not a good idea to get married just because it's the only thing on your list of " Things to fo before I turn 35" that you haven not done. It probably isn't a good idea to get married just because you are afraid to be alone.

Akeem December 08, 2009 | 8:19 AM

well, as for me i've been dating this young girl for the past four year now, and after both of us agreed to the proposal we've made to get married i then talked to my parents to quickly go and see my fiancy's parent to discuse about our wedding but to my suprise the girl's father said that his daughter is to young to get married she is just 23 and cannot get married now, if i want to get married to his daughter i should wait untill when she finish her studies in the university of The Gambia which should be this December, 2009 after that another suprise pacage is waiting for her to travelled to UK for her masters thats fine by me but all i need is to have the girl's hand in married well before she travelled to the UK anything can happen to her whiles she is in UK because we are living in a free world were every body has the right to choose any one to date with or to married to, for she can change her mine from me any time.......... now the father to my fiancy said i should wait until when his daughter finish her studies in UK come back to The Gambia secure a good job then think about getting married which really is cutting my heart seconds per seconds, i really can't wait that far please because she is the love of my life and we both love each other and want to get married to start up a family..... Akeem..

Jainab Jallow December 08, 2009 | 6:29 AM

well i really love to get married by this time at the age of my 26yrs am a lady an am in love with a guy but the problem is from his mother she did not want us to see us together an am so confuse an eager to get married cus time is going. best regards jainaba jallow

+ Add Comment


(required - not published)