Besides such gestures -- toothbrushes, terms of endearment, special get-togethers -- what are some other signs (more clear ones, at that), that will tell girls that you are serious about her? We
turned to a couple of thoughtful men for some answers. We asked them how can a girl tell if the guy she's dating thinks she's girlfriend or marriage material? Purnell, a single man
who's currently on a girl hiatus, answers: "When he says, so... I don't get what why there'd be confusion."
But Purnell, we do get confused. The boys got specific. Are you a future girlfriend, wife or just for fun? Read on...
We don't know about all men, but many are very direct and don't like to beat around the bush. "It seems like if [a guy] really want to be with a girl, clear, direct communication would be a prerequisite for making such a commitment," Purnell says. Guys are generally more direct and they'll likely just come out and say it or put it out there in an obvious manner, he asserts.
If a guy isn't into you, he'll likely not waste any time. "Like if u go on "romantic" dates initially, and u keep hanging out..." Purnell points out. Doesn't that mean you want her to be your girlfriend? As for the adage that he might just be trying to get you into bed -- well if he's not into you and is merely trying to get you into bed, there will be other signs (like lack of respect, for instance). Use common sense, ladies.
For Dan, a single 30-something from New York City, he starts wanting to do more, more often with his significant other. "I'm used to doing my single way -- like traveling and stuff -- so I guess for me, if me and [my girlfriend] start traveling with friends, something must be serious." So it does have a little to do with meeting the friends, but there's more to it than that, such as sharing lives.
And not only will you share lives, you'll practically become one if he's grooming you to be a girlfriend or, even more serious, wife. "You switch from one person making date decisions for both to really just making 'we' decisions," Dan points out. "And I don't mean date-night Saturday is gone when relationships go from casual to serious. It's like all of a sudden we're officially together and ordering Chinese takeout one night is okay." In essence, you reach a level of comfort that sometimes means you don't have to jump through hoops, but rather, that you like each other that much that you can do simple things and enjoy each other's company.
And if all goes according to plan, the man will introduce you to the folks. "Being marriage material is almost all about connecting with family," says Dan, who's never even been close to that level of commitment. "She's [marriage] material if we're doing a lot with both of our families together. If she's integrating with my family and I'm becoming a part of hers, then it's pretty clear that something's working." The serious commitment will lead him to show you off to the parents and siblings, and you'll get that vibe, ladies. "Marriage is about family, after all," Dan adds. "If we're all 'trying' [to make it work], that's a sign."
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