Warning Signs Of A Player

Being in the dating game leaves a lot of room for error. As in, you may pick the wrong men. Some are great, don't get me wrong. But many are players. We're not saying that you should stop your search right here and call it a day. You deserve to find Mr. Right. However, when looking, be cautious, know the signs, and stay away from the infamous player type.

Player wearing sunglasses

How can you spot a player?

He says he's a "nice guy"

"Boys who are nice guys don't have to say they are nice guys," says Jose, who admits he's not always a nice guy. "Sometimes, I have to put it out there that I'm good--they might be able to tell because there is gossip about me out there. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not always a 'nice guy.'"

Beware, ladies, there are more Joses around. They'll tell you they're nice, when in fact, sometimes they're not. When it comes to boys who are just like Jose, proceed with caution and remember, actions speak louder than words.

He wears shades indoors

What is he trying to hide? Men who wear sunglasses indoors or when it's not sunny might have a hard time looking you in the eye--probably because he may not be telling the truth, says Aly, a relationship expert. "You can often tell if a guy is lying by his eyes," she says. "If you ask him a question, and you notice him look away or not be looking at all, you have every right to question if what he's saying is for real."

Everyone says he is a player

If one or two people say he's a player, it may not be true. However, if there are enough people out there in the world who claim he's sinister, you can trust that he probably is.

"There's something to be said for crowd-sourcing," say the experts at The Frisky. "If countless people -- especially without asking -- tell you a dude is a player, he probably is one. And if he's not, and all those people are just trying to ruin his reputation, he probably has done something to make him worthy of so much distaste. And once you've decided he is a player, don't fool yourself into thinking you'll be the girl who changes him. You won't be."

Sure, give him the benefit of the doubt, but gossip and stories might have some truth behind them. It's important to follow your instincts on this one because truly nice boys will seldom have gossip about them out there. If anything, girls and boys alike would be vouching for him.

He Myspace'd you

Just like in the movie He's Just Not That Into You, beware of Myspacers (or other strangers who e-mail you on various social networking sites). Whether it be Facebook or Friendster, some men who e-mail you on said sites might be copying and pasting the same lines to other women.

"I've been a victim of this," says Annie. "This guy e-mailed me on Myspace and told me I was beautiful, yada yada yada. We went out a couple of times then I realized he was a serial online dater." Stick to guys who are about quality, not quantity. The player is the type to go through many women and dates without substance, instead of concentrating on the ideal.

He's too good to be true

People have flaws--they're supposed to. No one is perfect, so if that guy you're dating is way too perfect, you can pretty much assume it's all an act. Part of being in a relationship is embracing someone's flaws anyway. If he didn't have any, one's got to wonder if he's just putting his best self forward to you ... and perhaps to plenty of others. "Players are smooth talkers," says Aly. "They'll tell you what you want to hear and be what you are looking for, but when it comes down to a lifetime together, they'll eventually show their true colors. Keep your eyes open for the guy that's way too good to be true."


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Comments on "How to spot a player"

michelle February 16, 2010 | 11:09 AM

another sign of a player is when he wants to know your every movement. yet if there is an emergency and you have to find him you realise you dont have a clue where to look or who he would be. always beware of a man who tells you he loves you after 2 weeks

galloy October 29, 2009 | 11:39 AM

ugly guys like me are not players... i would wanna meet a pretty good partner...

ANETTE October 26, 2009 | 10:22 AM


Lebogang October 17, 2009 | 7:30 AM

Thanks for da info,its really helpful

diallo October 15, 2009 | 11:11 AM

thanks for this info about guys who play's on ladies.pls i want to no when a girl is playing a guy.

otto fortune October 15, 2009 | 9:01 AM

how can u know a man who really want u for keeps

yekyaw October 11, 2009 | 5:33 AM

all of have good luck

shegs October 10, 2009 | 3:15 AM

how do you get to know a lady player? thanks and havwe a nice weekend..................

Foster October 09, 2009 | 5:36 AM

Yes,i can't wait to have a nice looking Lady who understand,very patience, respectfull and caring.Well some ladies and Gents are players but we should also be aware of the malice behind playing guys or girls.Well,i believe playing is a game but its should not be encourage.Because it really waste a lot of time for both partners to get settle,since one can not be focus while staying with many guys or many girls.

Patience October 09, 2009 | 3:14 AM

Players are always right and know how to defend themselves.think well guls

sebastian October 09, 2009 | 12:11 AM

players dont like to bo correctedand they always thinks thier"MR RIGHT"

yolanda mabunda October 08, 2009 | 1:43 AM

hey guys i would loke to ask a question ive been dating this guy for a year and 10months but hes still dating the mother of his child btut he says he luvs u alot how do you know hes not liaring because sometimes he gives you attitude when taking to him wat do i do if theres a situation like this

Wilf Steele October 07, 2009 | 11:46 AM

Without being rude you assessment is rather one side. I have been on the scene 18 months. Six different site. During that time I have written to at least 200 women 90% turned out to be scammers. The 20 I went out with were either looking or had so much baggage it would be impossible to have a relationship. I am widowed after 25 years of happy marriage and I guess I have a good idea what I want. Many of us males get fed up being told lies but some women Wilf

remmy October 07, 2009 | 6:43 AM

perfectly right

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