What's He Hiding From You?
Not to scare the crap out of you, dater, but some men are known to lie. They'll flat-out tell you stories that may not be true, or they'll withhold information. As terrible as it is, I guess the flattering side of it all is that they just want you to like them. The bad side? You might fall for a guy who's less than honest. Don't be super-paranoid when on the dating scene, but you should keep these in mind...
Secret #1: He's seeing other people
This is the most common fib of daters. Both men and women are guilty of it, yet it's the one thing that daters almost seldom don't talk about. "Not like I owe her anything," says Jose, a 25-year-old single. "I pretty much go by the don't ask, don't tell method." Jose's right--he doesn't owe you anything. It's not like you're exclusive. Granted, many will have a major problem with this, but until you are in a committed relationship there's nothing you can demand about it. The only thing you can do is to see other people, as well. Keep your options open.
Secret #2: He's totally on the rebound
There are lots of warning signs to tell if he's totally on the rebound. Boys will rarely tell you they are fresh out of a relationship out of fear that you'll get freaked out. They have rights and privileges like other daters, too. "Just because I just broke up with my girlfriend, doesn't mean there's something wrong with me," says Pete, who recently ended his five-year relationship. "We weren't a good fit, so I had to break up with her. That doesn't mean I'm not a good person to date," he adds. Some girls beg to differ--Aly, a relationship expert says, "If he's fresh out of a relationship, he may not be ready to date or he might just want to date to get over his last failed attempt. That isn't fair to the girl who's into that guy."
Secret #3: He's currently unemployed
The unemployment rate is currently over 9 percent, so it's common to encounter people in today's economy who have recently even laid off. It's a tale we hear far too often these days, so don't be surprised to go on a date with someone who's currently jobless. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," says Annie, who claims to only date men with jobs. "I'm sure some men have befallen tough times, but I'm old-fashioned and I expect for a man to take care of me." Jason, who recently lost his job in equities, finds this fact appalling. "Michelle Obama said she married Barack for his potential, not what he does," he says. "It's not like I'm poor and lazy. I was a victim of circumstance."
Secret #4: He might have a third nipple
... or some other physical oddity. "I once dated this guy who had a prosthetic leg," Lauren, a 30-year-old single, says. "I didn't realize it until the fourth date." While Lauren didn't have a problem with her date's disability, others might, so men disregard it until things get serious. "He could've told me during date one, but he didn't," Lauren points out. "He must've been afraid I wouldn't go out with him again. Other girls won't be as open-minded and understanding."
Secret #5: He doesn't want to be in a relationship
Hello, he's a player--duh. Many men date for the sake of dating (and hooking up, I might add). They'll make you believe they want a relationship for obvious reasons when in fact, they are too happy with the single life. "It's not like I'm lying," says Jordan, who's on Match.com posing as a man looking for "the right girl." "I'm just meeting new people and seeing where it goes." But when asked if he wants a girlfriend, he says, "No, not really. If the right girl comes along, maybe, but she hasn't." Of course, Jordan won't tell the ladies that fact.