Annmarie thinks she single-handedly hung onto the love of her life by being cool. "It sounds lame, doesn't it?" the 35-year-old who's been married for five years says. "Jake was always the macho type and he didn't want a dependent girl--his last girlfriend before me completely turned him off to marriage." Because of his previous relationship with a super co-dependent woman, Jake realized marriage was never for him if it meant being with someone who was as possessive as his ex. Annmarie decided she was cool with that and went into the relationship "just for fun." Before I knew it, being as chill as I was made him want to be with me 24/7. A year after dating casually, Jake proposed.
Who knew that not forcing a marriage to happen would make one happen? Annmarie's tip to getting married her way: "Don't expect it," she says. "If you are okay with just being together and having a good time, that's what might seal the deal--I mean, what guy wouldn't want that?"
For Claire, saying it did her wonders. "I was with my boyfriend (at the time), Glenn, for a three years. I wanted to be married," she admits. "So one day, I came out and told him that's what I want." It was a major leap of faith for Claire, she didn't know how Glenn would react. To her surprise, he wanted the same thing and was too afraid to articulate it himself. "Don't get me wrong, we were perfect right from the start--it wasn't like I wanted to get married and it didn't matter who," she explains. "He was the right guy, I was just tired of beating around the bush.
Some boys are not so great with communicating their wants and needs. Claire's tip: Some men need to be guided. "They're not that complicated. If you tell them what you want, they can decide whether to give it to you or not," she points out. "But, if you never say anything, how would you know? Just go for it!"
For Michele, the story sounds a little awkward, some might even say downright awful. "My now husband and I actually got engaged as a result of a fight," she explains. "I know how it sounds, but I'm happy and he's happy and that's all that matters." What does Michele mean? She suspected her now husband to have been cheating on her! "One day, I confronted him and said, 'If you love me like you say you do, you'd marry me,'" and he did. We would suggest not going this route, but Michele stands by her relationship.
The ultimatum might not be the best route, but we can't deny Michele's success. Her tip: "If you fight for what you want--if you fight for love--that's nothing to be ashamed of," says the newlywed of eight months. "People might frown upon how we decided to get married, and I don't really care, but we're doing really well now."
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