Experts Weigh In

If you're a fan of the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, you're probably as depressed as we are. No one wants to see this cute family fall apart. Sadly, it's happening right before our eyes -- in the tabloids and on TV during their reality show's fifth season. "It's tough to watch," entertainment editors have said in their recaps, referring to the couple's full admittance of their marital issues. They're there for their kids, they say. But opponents have since come out claiming that both Jon and Kate are exploiting their eight children, not to mention that the show may be violating child labor laws.

Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of the show or the couple, despite the fact that the scandal is here to stay, the children are adorable and the story is quite sad. Looking back, experts have come forward to say that the couple's inevitable fate could have been predicted. Here's what they saw:

Doomed from the Very Beginning

Many viewers knew Jon and Kate's relationship would never work out. "From an outsider's perspective, it was doomed from the start. Kate talks to him like a child -- it's all criticism and no gratitude. There's never a 'thank you.' In the interview chair -- when it is no longer 'reality' and she's obviously aware her words will be broadcast -- she belittles him and points out his every perceived flaw to a national audience," says Sasha Pasulka, head writer and founder of Evil Beet Gossip. "That's the opposite of the mutual respect a relationship needs to survive, particularly under the strain of eight children. No self-respecting person would want to stay in a marriage like that. Jon is a smart, talented, hard-working man and a fantastic father. It was only a matter of time before he decided he wouldn't put up with Kate's condescension any longer."

It was a Super-Stressful Situation from the Start

Dr. Kathleen Hall, an internationally recognized stress expert, points out that households under a lot of stress will have major issues. "Today, divorce is ranked number two on the Holmes and Rahes Stress Scale and is especially frequent among parents of multiples," she says. "Children of newly divorced parents are innocent spectators, often left fearful of being abandoned and feeling that they are to blame for the divided household."

They're Not on the Same Page

The couple has admitted that they're in very different places right now. One can only assume what exactly that meant, but Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball, author, relationship expert and psychotherapist, believes that Kate is all about fortune, fame and celebrity status, and Jon is about just being an ordinary person right now. "He feels he's losing Kate to Hollywood," Morley-Ball assumes. "Kate seems to be evolving to another level and Jon seems stuck."

Their Marriage Took a Backseat to Everything Else

"Kate seemed more focused on herself and the children, and less on Jon -- she puts her best foot forward to make it seem as if she's okay with the way things are, but it's evident in her body language and her actions -- for instance, during the birthday party -- that she's hurting inside -- there is a sadness in her," Morley-Ball picks up on. We can't help but think that if Jon and Kate tried to fix their problems sooner before it was too late, that this family could be saved. Morley-Ball adds, communication is key. "[It's] essential for couples to maintain a healthy relationship. It's imperative that couples have a marriage agenda, which includes daily rituals: touching, kissing, sharing feelings, sharing challenges and concerns, and that the challenges and concerns are worked on and out on a daily basis."

Regardless of what's causing their issues, one thing is for sure: the children are most important. We don't know what the future holds for the Gosselins, but for the sake of their beautiful children, we're keeping our fingers crossed.

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Comments

Comments on "Jon & Kate: The clues to their marriage doom"

Kendra July 24, 2012 | 1:42 PM

Belittling your husband, especially on TV or in front of others, is never good. Even if you don't divorce over it, why would someone be happy with someone who is constantly bringing them down. Focus on the positives like you did when you were dating...it goes a long way!

Lori September 30, 2009 | 3:33 PM

I think they should save their marriage and stop the fighting!!! I think Kate and Jon are good parents !! I just think they forgot about eachother!!I don't think Kate meant any harm in the way she spoke to Jon, its just her way!!!

Lori September 30, 2009 | 3:32 PM

I think they should save their marriage and stop the fighting!!! I think Kate and Jon are good parents !! I just think they forgot about eachother!!I don't think Kate meant any harm in the way she spoke to Jon, its just her way!!!

Lola August 10, 2009 | 11:54 AM

I was at a wedding on Saturday and I just so happened to be seated next to three RN's who worked with Kate a few years ago. These gals had NOTHING nice to say about Kate. Actually, they stated that Kate was a horror from day one. How sad is that? Also,many parents do not want their kids in the same class room with Kate's kids because they feel the kids will hamper the quality of learning in the class room. Honestly since Kate is so smart she should home school her litter. I feel really sad for her children, they did not ask to be on TV. The kids deserve dignity and Kate deserves a slice of humble pie. Oh here is another GOOD ONE.... when kate goes to GIANT (the food store) she ALWAYS checks out in the 10 items or less line.... She has over $200.00 in items HOWEVER because she is KATE she feels she can check out WHERE EVER SHE WANTS.. and this I heard FROM an employee at Giant. THEY HATE when she comes into the store! Ha ha that makes me laugh. even young people find her repugnant.

chebet pritty July 26, 2009 | 10:15 AM

gina July 22, 2009 | 12:23 PM

Unless you have walked in the shoes of someone who has tried to have a relationship and/or marriage with a Verbal Bully you have no idea how it eats away at your very being. Jon has my empthy. I was married to such a person for 21 years. Your self esteem is literally trashed! When the "bikers builders" came to their house with Jon's new bike & were having a picnic lunch there was a very telling incident. The dogs came over & were checking out the food. Kate screamed at Jon to get the dogs then she said to him "if you let those dog loose you are going to be in big time trouble." The biker builders son asked Kate; "what are you going to do spank him?".. that says everything you need to know about Kate. She will always needs to control and dominate anyone in her life including her children..... Hopefully both she & Jon will get some counceling. If they don't they will just repeat the same mistakes as they move on to other people.

yvevette July 15, 2009 | 1:19 PM

I only watched the show a few times so my opinion might not mean much, but the only reason I didn't watch it was because kate would frustrate me seeing how she talked to jon. always putting him down I truly felt bad for him. she irritated me so much from liek 3 shows i couldnt imagine what it wouldve been like for jon living with someone who always put you down.

lisa dan July 15, 2009 | 10:43 AM

dear friend's

lisa dan July 15, 2009 | 10:34 AM

dear friend's

Teresa July 14, 2009 | 5:34 PM

I have to agree with Annamaria. This article seems to be biased towards Jon. But seriously your 32 years old and you have 8 kids,it's way past time to grow up. Kate may be a bit type "A" but with 9 I mean 8 kids you have to be, Jon strikes me as self centered and immature. I do feel bad for the kids, but Kates a good Mom and they will be OK. Hopefully Jon wakes up and sees what his adolescent shenanigans are doing to his family.

kierston July 03, 2009 | 5:57 PM

the show isnt gonna be the same anymore...i understand the two of them dont wanna be together anymore but i can only imagine the impact on the kids... 8 kids and they wont have both of there parents together...lets hope they dont end up thinking its there fault. i love the tv show and watch every episode but if the reality is gonna tear apart the family you two should have thought about the damage it has done. i feel for those kids i hope everything works out!!!!

Terri L. June 24, 2009 | 10:08 PM

Coming from a family of eight children I saw my mother rely on the older children to help with the parenting. Mom also had to run things like the army to some extent...how else can you keep everything moving and meet basic needs. I feel for those children as I know it's impossible to give those kids the one on one they need from each parent. I am so very sad for this family but rarely heard Kate compliment Jon or thank him but then I never heard Jon ever thank Kate for her gift of coordination or child care. They lost Christ in this picture and I, personally, can't see a united front without the Lord at the helm.

primrose June 23, 2009 | 2:38 PM

And never a thank you for Jon? Why does Kate need to thank Jon for doing something in the house or for the kids? He's obviously not expected to reciprocate, or are we still in the dark ages when anything a woman does is expected and usual and anything a man does for his family is above and beyond the call of duty. And of course anything Jon does is at Kate's order/request/demand because he doesn't do anything without prodding/prompting. Just venting.

annamaria June 23, 2009 | 2:23 PM

Jon is smart, talented, hard-working and a fantastic father? Haven't seen evidence of any of this and I was pretty much on his side. He's not very bright actually, as Kate often underhandedly highlights in her couch commentaries, only ever held a job for a short-time before he was fired, is "laid back" to an extreme and is often annoyed and short-tempered with the children, especially the boys. His talents must reside in skiing, snowboarding and four-wheeling. The only time he didn't seem to be reluctantly dragged along on an outing was when he was snowboarding out West with Cara. It's been a long time since he was that into Kate or the kids if enthusiasm and initiative are indications. All of the complaining about Kate's incessant nagging has given him an excuse to hang his unhappiness on. Though she couldn't be more counter-productive in her tactics, Jon gets back by being sullen and unresponsive and refusing to communicate, prompting more nagging. I think he's unhappy with the vista of never-ending self-sacrifice, dedication and very hard work he sees before him when he's never had a "sowing his wild oats" period. A man that seems more interested in his four-wheeler, sports car, condo in Utah and a luxury NYC apartment than in trying to work it out for his kids isn't any prize. A guy who at the age of 32 still thinks he's a kid, sporting diamond studs and being photographed with the same young coed in bars and cars is just looking for an excuse to bail, imo.

Adriana Kerzel June 22, 2009 | 8:43 PM

No marriage can work with that much pressure of having eight small kids and dealing with fame at the same time. Not all of us can handle that kind of stuff. I can tell that everybody is blaming her. Not because she has the strong temper in the relationship, that means it's her fault only. If were him the one acting like that, nobody would say anything, since "He's THE man". I could say I feel sorry for them and the kids, but no. If they are getting separated and/or divorced, so they avoid problems, good. They are making a good decission. That's always better than to fight all the time in front of them.

Pepper June 22, 2009 | 8:17 PM

I agree....I've been a fan from the beginning. They did have an episode where they spoke about their faith and their church. Then fame and a bigger house AND no more about church or praying together. Sad..I will pray for them too.

Villma Nava-Cerda June 22, 2009 | 4:59 PM

I don't understand why the producers did not send them off to a weekend getaway!!! Seriously, I think this marriage could be saved. One important real life issue I've noticed (not a regular show watcher) they don't go to church or pray or even mention GOD in these episodes....I will pray for them and still think they can reconcile, and save their marriage for the sake of the children,.....get real!!!

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